SG Fairy

Because of some totally screwed up napping time, I got up at 9-plus Saturday night. Hence, I spent a lot of time tossing and turning in bed from about 2am to, I think, 6am :P

When my alarm clock went off, I seriously contemplated staying in bed, and home. But nah... I had had about 6 hours' decent sleep, and it's never a good idea to sleep in too late when you've to go to work at a normal time the next day. So I got my butt out of bed, showered, decided to go a little goth and laid on the eyeliner, and finally, styled my hair :P Figured it's about the right length for that now... if I didn't use hair wax, my hair would be all over the place. And if I may say so myself, I thought I looked quite decent after the wax was applied.

Headed off to church (yes, I do go to church, so you can stop gaping at me in shock), and was very glad I went.. had a great time. By the time we finished, it was 5-plus.. and I went down to Tampines to run an errand. Then, maybe it was because I had been home all week, but I thought, "let's just spend some time out for a bit, instead of heading straight home."

Having missed out on a business trip to Jakarta, I decided I should compensate with Nasi Padang at the food court, lol. Not fantastic, but decent nonetheless... then I walked around a bit. As usual, I ended up in the supermarket (I love window shopping there!).. and basically strolled around... went to Watson (another favourite for window shopping) - I've decided that I do not mind getting Christmas presents from Watsons as long as it's the toiletries and makeup sets that I like.. some of them are soooo pretty, and just look so delicious.. I was doing tons of mental shopping! (that's when you imagine cash's not an issue, and you start picking all the things you like)

Having 'shopped' my fill, I thought i should reward myself for not having spent any money this week, and so I bought my favourite Famous Amos soft cookie.. it's heavenly! There's this thing about pastries and chocolate that makes me go weak in the knees... I don't even need sex.. just good dessert and chocolate. Lol.

I was debating whether to walk a little more when I spotted some girls who were/are friends of a very old ex-boyfriend. There's nothing between the ex and me now.. we haven't really communicated for ages even though we're fb friends, but somehow, I just didn't want to be spotted and have to go through the whole "Hi! How are you? Long time no see! What are you doing now?" and blah blah blah... let's face it, if you really cared about a person, you would make the effort to stay in touch; And so you don't really care how the person is doing; it's just you've been told that's what adults say to each other when they meet.

So anyway, I figured that was my cue to leave... so on to the train back, and then I got myself bubble tea to keep me company on my walk home. Now I normally walk the 25-30 minutes home every evening after work. But maybe it was because the only walking I had been doing all week was between bedroom-kitchen-toilet, for by the time I was halfway through my walk, I was mentally asking myself: "are we there yet?"

** I'm watching the news while blogging, and noticed that the Philippines President is very short. She shouldn't stand next to PM Lee - she doesn't even come up to his shoulders! Oh, and the Thai PM speaks very nice-sounding English**

So anyway, all in all, a nice Sunday.. wonderful to be out, seeing people, looking at some Christmas decorations.... either that, or I had really been cooped up at home too long :P and I suspect that's the real sad reason, lol.

I also got the NTUC Christmas catalog... it's one of the things I enjoy most about Christmas, supermarket catalogs! Lol, I like to look at the food, how the decorations were done, etc. Sigh, I'm so auntie sometimes I scare myself.

** PM Lee looks like shit.. no, seriously, you look at the press conference, he looks so worn out. And on that same note, Ho Ching looks terrible too.. please, assign a stylist to her for official meetings, please!**

I want to go and get more catalogs, especially from Jason's and Cold Storage, because they are usually very nice. NTUC's catalog this year was quite disappointing - their logcakes looked so plain, even I could have done a better job (and I'm not that great with my log cakes either!) And I'm thinking of signing up for some courses at Phoon Huat - Christmas baking stuff like gingerbread house building, log cakes etc... I really want to try doing a gingerbread house this year! Been meaning to for a while now.. or even gingerbread men! And I've always wanted to try my hand at cake decoration, coz it just seems very fun! Lol.. gosh, how auntie do I sound?

** Apparently the First Ladies went to the Singapore Flyer today... just imagine what would have happened if the Flyer got stuck like it did the last time!***

Christmas really is on the way, isn't it? I want to go to Orchard Road.. I'm thinking of taking a nice, long slow walk from Tanglin Mall all the way down to Raffles City, and with the weather so nice and cool these days, I think it'll be fun, not to mention a great workout!

*** Oohhh... another rally by the Thai Yellow Shirts.. was thinking of going to Bangkok soon actually. Think that'll drive prices down? Oh please let it!***

Anyway, that's it from me... I hope I'll be able to sleep by 1am tonight.. got a long day tomorrow. Hope next week will be a good one... hope it'll be great for you too :)

Ta for now!

Well ok, so I haven't been blogging for a while, but I've been busy, and let's just leave it at that.

Been in a very weird mood lately, I don't quite know how to explain it. It's just one of those things, you know... I think I have to resign myself to the fact that I'll always get into those mood now and again, and as long as I can still function (depending on your definition of 'function'), that's cool. At least I don't need to be on prozac.. which is such a great pill by the way, even better than valium.

Anyway... I'm just rambling on... think I've been cooped up at home for far too long.

I need a life :P

Are you excited about Obama being in Singapore tonight? I am.. And this APEC, I think it's a great honor for this little red dot - tiny but significant.

Feel like singing the national anthem now, lol.

Anyway, I just needed somewhere to, I dun know, 'talk' a bit... catch you later!

Ever had one of those days when everything seems so wrong your brain wonders if it should explode or just give up? When your heart feels like lead, sunk down to some dark gloomy depth inside you? When you just feel so lost? When you even start longing for the feeling of release you know you can get from 'playing the violin'?

Ya... me too.

Help me, God.

Spent the night in KL on Friday and of course I went to check Zouk KL out. I've heard so much about it, how it's better than the original one in Zouk (which I don't really like anyway), how there's lots of drugs around (exciting mah!) and so on. So ya, I went to Zouk KL.

It's really like the one in Singapore in that you have Pleasure Dome, Phuture, and Velvet Underground. We thought the music in Phuture was the best, but apparently so did everyone else and there weren't any tables around by the time we got there near midnight. So we went to Velvet which was also quite good, managed to get a table, and got our bottle opened. What I found really interesting was the tvs around the dance floor, showing the mtvs of the songs being played.. if you're damn bored, there's always that to watch.

But it's much much better than Zouk SG (I think I'm just prejudiced against the mambo dancers and the shitty bartenders and their crappy diluted drinks). The clubbers really dressed up. Guys would probably like the place coz the girls were really slutty-looking, and seemed real easy to pick up :P

But anyway... the reason I brought Zouk up is because I noticed while there that there was a lot of hugging going on. I'm not talking about the hugs in dark corners - it's the hugs when friends meet, chilling around and just giving a quick hug now and again.. there was a lot of physical contact in a friendly non-sexual way.

And it reminded me a lot of Brazil, and how the people I saw in Sao Paulo were always hugging, arms over shoulders/ around waists, a touch on the arm to emphasize a point, and so on. And beyond all the food, drinks, etc, that was what I had enjoyed most about Brazil: that I was being touched a lot.

Oh, stop those polluted dirty thoughts now!

It's scientifically proven that hugs (physical contact in general) are good for one's health. If you don't know yet, when you're emotionally/mentally down, you end up affecting your physical health (aka. stress and heart attacks, strokes etc). So it's important to keep your emotional and mental state doing pretty ok at least.

And that's why hugs are important. Stop thinking about 'hugs-kiss-foreplay-sex'. Not all hugs have to lead towards that direction, you know, and it's sad that so many people think of physical contact in that manner. A hug shows that you care; more importantly, it shows someone that he/she is being cared for, is significant enough to be getting a hug, is not some speck of dust unworthy of the slightest body contact.

Just think about it: when was the last time you were hugged in an entirely non-sexual way? When was the last time you hugged a friend? Or for that matter, your family? Think about the time a friend hugged you.. how did that make you feel?

I used to get hugs from friends back in uni. I'm not sure if it was just coz it was the in-trend, that people thought hugging someone you bumped into seemed the grown-up thing to do (of course we undergrads were all eager to prove we were adults). But yup... I'll meet someone and there'll be a hug. After a long lunch, chatty time together, we'll go, "take care, dear!" and hug. And it was great! I felt great!

Then we all graduated, lol, and I don't get many hugs these days.. actually, I get none. And that's coz everyone's preoccupied, and we were all brought up in a culture that said body contact was only for sex, and so we worry: he/she looks sad and could probably do with a hug, but if I gave one, would he/she misinterpret and blah blah blah... how could we make something as simple as giving a hug so complicated?

I think Singapore society is in great need of that: hugs. We're so focused on getting that rat-prize at the end of that rat-race that we forget about the really important things in life.. and that has made us all cold hard bitches who behave like we've wedgies permanently stuck in our buttcrack.

We should be hugging. Nevermind if the receiver seems a little shocked, totally stunned, unable to move coz he/she is so surprised. Or if she/she steps back a little when you approach. Just grab that person, give a hug and say, "How are you? Hope everything's great!" They'll eventually come back for more.

So, have you hugged someone today? Will you hug someone today?


PS: You might find this interesting - http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/personal-growth/hug/hug-therapy.asp

The modest Rose puts forth a thorn,
The humble Sheep a threat'ning horn;
While the Lily white shall in love delight,
Nor a thorn, nor a threat, stain a beauty bright.

- William Blake (from Songs of Experience)


There's a reason why white lilies are my absolute favourite flowers.

I've this great book called 'Drinking, Smoking & Screwing - Great Writers on Good Times'.
Kinda self-explanatory, what the book's contents are about..
There's this really interesting poem inside that I'll like to share with you.


'When Man Enters Woman' by Anne Sexton

When man
enters woman,
like the surf biting the shore,
again and again,
and the woman opens her mouth in pleasure
and her teeth gleam
like the alphabet,
Logos appears milking a star,
and the man
inside of woman
ties a knot
so that they will
never again be separate
and the woman
climbs into a flower
and swallows its stem
and Logos appears
and unleashes their rivers.

This man,
this woman
with their double hunger,
have tried to reach through
the curtain of God
and briefly they have,
though God
in His perversity
unties the knot.

(1973)

It's 3.22am, my eyes are puffy and aching, the small of my back hurts, and I still have one more bit of work to do.

God, please give me the energy to crawl out of bed later.

Gotta press on...