SG Fairy

i went back to uni today to pick up my graduation gown, mortarboard, sash etc.

because i was in full office wear (ie, pants and long-sleeved shirt), i felt and probably also looked damm old. all the rest were in like, tees and jeans, or shorts.

the entire process was rather fast and smooth... but i left with a little sick feeling in my stomach.

i suppose i should be excited about graduation, and i guess somewhere inside of my being, i am excited. but yet...

firstly i believe the entire commencement ceremony is a circus, with us graduates being the performing monkeys. our audience? our parents. we slave over our essays, tutorials, and exams (well, i did study, mostly), and what happens in the end? we're paraded around like trophies. geez... we should be properly rewarded with things like, a concert, a fair, shopping discounts, or something. i know it's a matter of repaying our parents for bringing us up and all that asian crap, but urgh...

and my mum's already set aside a place in the living room for our family photo... you know, the one where i'm in my graduation gown, surrounded by proud parents. i was looking at the promotional flyers from the various photo studios and as i examined the sample photographs showcasing the studio's wonderful work, i thought, "this is not what i remembered my uni life to be". the pics were of grads holding their degree scrolls, standing in front of bookshelves, holding some thick, cheem-looking book, the background a dull fusion of weird colours.
that's so not my uni life lor.
i remember long nights outside the faculty club, smoking, watching the guys play cards, studying, stoning, chatting, eating... meeting for a huge supper at fong seng, taking walks at unearthly hours of the night with friends attempting to jog... looking for corners and stairwells to smoke in uni... and i also do remember some lecturers fondly - i never fell asleep during their lectures... oh, and the rush for hot mocha from TCC during lecture breaks.
i dun want some pic which totally insults my memories of uni life.. a pic which basically advertises a lie.

:p

second... i suppose a part of me doesn't really wanna graduate. though technically i've graduated, i've not gone through the whole symbolic ceremony which seals it. and as i left the hall with my gown just now, i felt as though i was walking away from my youth.

how upsetting.