Friday, May 12, 2006
Mother's Day blues...
I had seen this ad in the New Paper on wed about this peranakan buffet cum comedy skit at Hotel Asia for Mother's Day. Is quite pricey at S$50 nett per head, but I thought it might be good and different. My family enjoys peranakan food, and got skit somemore! Plus it's Mother's Day! I'm still adjusting to my new spending allowance and if I did decide to bring my family out for that meal, it'll mean I'll have to survive on just ciggies for the rest of the month... but I thought, why not, my mum deserves it.
So ya, I did think quite a bit about whether or not to spend that money on my mum. It may sound like I'm equating money with my love for her, but let's be realistic here - you do have to spend the money for a good Mother's Day treat. I know people have said things like "but everyday should be Mother's Day!" but well, I see Mother's Day as being a day where you go the extra extra extra mile for her.
So finally, with a deep breath, I decided to jump in. I called the hotel cafe, made the reservation etc. I had calculated cost, worked out my budget for the remaining weeks til my next paycheck... everything was settled.
Then this evening we got this unexpected bit of news that would require a slight change of plans - no big deal, just that I'll have to change the reservation from lunch to either high-tea or dinner, or have it on Saturday instead of Sunday. Then my mum kept pressing me for details, like where the meal would be, what it consists of, cost etc... and in the end she said that no, she didn't wanna go. And my dad agreed with her, saying that they'll rather I save the money. After all, we had dinner with my auntie and her family this evening as a sort of Mother's Day celebration and I had bought a cake for it. So there was no need to do anythign else, my mum said.
I suppose I should have been really happy about it. I mean, hurray, I no longer have to hold my purse strings that tightly anymore! But in actual fact, I felt really hurt. Perhaps I should have been touched that my parents are concerned for me, want me to save money etc... you know, the typical Chinese parent mentality. But ya... I felt like, why wun you let me just love you and do that for you? Even if you really didn't want it, you didn't have to brush the entire effort off so lightly like as though it was a totally sucky idea, and you thought I was very silly to try to put something like that together.
It's like you winning a billion bucks, and having decided that you wanted to give it to someone unconditionally coz you love that person, that person laughs in your face and brushes it off, and calls you a jackass to your face... when he could have just politley declined if he didn't want it.
Or am I wrong to feel hurt?
My relationship with my parents can be so complex at times...
So ya, I did think quite a bit about whether or not to spend that money on my mum. It may sound like I'm equating money with my love for her, but let's be realistic here - you do have to spend the money for a good Mother's Day treat. I know people have said things like "but everyday should be Mother's Day!" but well, I see Mother's Day as being a day where you go the extra extra extra mile for her.
So finally, with a deep breath, I decided to jump in. I called the hotel cafe, made the reservation etc. I had calculated cost, worked out my budget for the remaining weeks til my next paycheck... everything was settled.
Then this evening we got this unexpected bit of news that would require a slight change of plans - no big deal, just that I'll have to change the reservation from lunch to either high-tea or dinner, or have it on Saturday instead of Sunday. Then my mum kept pressing me for details, like where the meal would be, what it consists of, cost etc... and in the end she said that no, she didn't wanna go. And my dad agreed with her, saying that they'll rather I save the money. After all, we had dinner with my auntie and her family this evening as a sort of Mother's Day celebration and I had bought a cake for it. So there was no need to do anythign else, my mum said.
I suppose I should have been really happy about it. I mean, hurray, I no longer have to hold my purse strings that tightly anymore! But in actual fact, I felt really hurt. Perhaps I should have been touched that my parents are concerned for me, want me to save money etc... you know, the typical Chinese parent mentality. But ya... I felt like, why wun you let me just love you and do that for you? Even if you really didn't want it, you didn't have to brush the entire effort off so lightly like as though it was a totally sucky idea, and you thought I was very silly to try to put something like that together.
It's like you winning a billion bucks, and having decided that you wanted to give it to someone unconditionally coz you love that person, that person laughs in your face and brushes it off, and calls you a jackass to your face... when he could have just politley declined if he didn't want it.
Or am I wrong to feel hurt?
My relationship with my parents can be so complex at times...
