Sunday, April 20, 2008
Crush, Crushing, Crushed!
Because Saturday mornings (and sometimes part of the afternoons) are ‘catching-up-on-beauty-sleep’ periods for me, it was very difficult to get out of bed early today.
There was a lunch birthday party to attend at the other corner of the island, and my godsis and I had plans to swim a bit at that place first before going for the lunch – I wanted to get dark-skinned again.... being yellow doesn’t look good!
Anyway… so after the swim and all that, we went for the lunch. Then, I found out that this guy whom I had a huge crush on while in sec sch was going to drop by later. And my first immediate thought was : “oh gosh, do I look like absolute crap today?!?!?!”
Then I remembered I took extra effort putting my face paint on earlier, and my heart was at ease.
It was really good to see him again.. he’s bigger in built now, but still as eloquent and charming, and gentlemanly as ever… I’ve got a thing for men who can carry themselves well, and are good at conversations. I started remembering all the reasons why I liked him back during the school days, and whenever he looked directly at me and talked to me, my heart would flutter.
Ya… so drama… but seriously, I was trying very hard not to be grinning too much like a crazy Cheshire cat. I kept telling myself, “Be cool and relaxed!”
But of course I started fantasizing a bit… and I thought, well, we could start chatting again like we did back in school – he was the guy whom I once chatted with over the phone til 5am; we then met in school for a function 2 hours later; we did talk a lot back then. Then I thought, ok, so we chat, then we meet up again, often… then maybe we’ll become boyfriend-girlfriend (ya, very sec sch thinking, lol), and then one day, he’ll propose!
And… I shuddered.
I was totally put off by the idea of him proposing (in my imagination). I’m sure he’s the sort who’ll put very careful thought into the proposal method etc, and it’ll be all so sweet etc.. but marriage?!?!? Too big a change, just too freaking big a move… I couldn’t do it.
And I realized… I’m not ready for marriage, ever. Not even with the guy who still turns me into a silly giggling school girl when I see him after so many years. Granted, that guy’s not Him (as in, the current squeeze) so there’s no love and all that jazz. But still…
So ya… I’m already at this certain stage of my life already and still I dun long for marriage etc… my mum’s gonna be soooo disappointed, lol.
On another note, my godsis said today that she wanted to carry little children… I say her bio clock’s starting to tick already.
Gosh, just thinking of the old crush again makes me smile…
But nope… I’ll rather be with Him in Europe for a week next week, than with the crush ☺
Ya… off to Europe for 2 weeks, from next week… one week of exciting but I’m sure tiring work… and then I’m off for a little break, all by my little self… I feel like a kid in an Enid Blyton story off for an adventure.
There was a lunch birthday party to attend at the other corner of the island, and my godsis and I had plans to swim a bit at that place first before going for the lunch – I wanted to get dark-skinned again.... being yellow doesn’t look good!
Anyway… so after the swim and all that, we went for the lunch. Then, I found out that this guy whom I had a huge crush on while in sec sch was going to drop by later. And my first immediate thought was : “oh gosh, do I look like absolute crap today?!?!?!”
Then I remembered I took extra effort putting my face paint on earlier, and my heart was at ease.
It was really good to see him again.. he’s bigger in built now, but still as eloquent and charming, and gentlemanly as ever… I’ve got a thing for men who can carry themselves well, and are good at conversations. I started remembering all the reasons why I liked him back during the school days, and whenever he looked directly at me and talked to me, my heart would flutter.
Ya… so drama… but seriously, I was trying very hard not to be grinning too much like a crazy Cheshire cat. I kept telling myself, “Be cool and relaxed!”
But of course I started fantasizing a bit… and I thought, well, we could start chatting again like we did back in school – he was the guy whom I once chatted with over the phone til 5am; we then met in school for a function 2 hours later; we did talk a lot back then. Then I thought, ok, so we chat, then we meet up again, often… then maybe we’ll become boyfriend-girlfriend (ya, very sec sch thinking, lol), and then one day, he’ll propose!
And… I shuddered.
I was totally put off by the idea of him proposing (in my imagination). I’m sure he’s the sort who’ll put very careful thought into the proposal method etc, and it’ll be all so sweet etc.. but marriage?!?!? Too big a change, just too freaking big a move… I couldn’t do it.
And I realized… I’m not ready for marriage, ever. Not even with the guy who still turns me into a silly giggling school girl when I see him after so many years. Granted, that guy’s not Him (as in, the current squeeze) so there’s no love and all that jazz. But still…
So ya… I’m already at this certain stage of my life already and still I dun long for marriage etc… my mum’s gonna be soooo disappointed, lol.
On another note, my godsis said today that she wanted to carry little children… I say her bio clock’s starting to tick already.
Gosh, just thinking of the old crush again makes me smile…
But nope… I’ll rather be with Him in Europe for a week next week, than with the crush ☺
Ya… off to Europe for 2 weeks, from next week… one week of exciting but I’m sure tiring work… and then I’m off for a little break, all by my little self… I feel like a kid in an Enid Blyton story off for an adventure.
