SG Fairy

Hello there all, miss me?

*looks at blog count*

Oh ok, so you all decided to abandon me eh? Just coz I've been away and missing in action for a couple of days? (so ok, it was a month but that's besides the point)

Traitors!!!

Anyways...

I'm now back home in Singapore... one of the first things I did after breezing through the doors, was to go grab a bowl of fishball noodle soup. Yes, so I'm a pathetic chinese bitch.

There's so much I wanna write about, but I just do not know where to start. Talk about Indonesian politics, the extremely mentally-stimulating discussions, the friendly people, the friendships forged, the food, the shopping, the cheap ciggies, the equally cheap beer... hmmm...

I suppose I'll do it over the next few days.

Some things I've been thinking about...
I wanna post up pics. I took some nice (in my opinion at least!) scenery pics, and there are shots of me with Wiranto etc that I wanna show off. But... when I started this blog, the idea was to keep me unidentified. But if I were to post up pics, then you'll see my face, right? So how?

Sigh.

And I'm now in the... "let's try to settle back into 'normal' life again" mood. I'm now back to smoking out of my bathroom window; in fact, I've only smoked one stick since I got back home :P It's not like in Indonesia, where you can smoke like, almost everywhere. And I've to remind not to anyhow throw my ciggie butts away now that I'm back in sg.
I look around my room, and it seems so familar and foreign at the same time. I cannot just pick up the phone, and call one of the girls to ask "hey, whatcha doing? Wanna come over to my room?"

I am HOME.

While on the bus on the way to the airport in Jogja, I got to reflecting on my trip... and that's been something I've been doing at the back of my mind since I got back. It's true that Indonesia as a big country, does really have a big heart. It is a place that is ALIVE. I look out of the taxi on my way home from the changi airport and I find everything so sterile and yes, disgusting. Like as though it's all fake, forced artifical smiles trying to pretend to show the world that we are a happy lot, extremely satisfied with our lives. But that's not true. Then you look at the Indonesian people... yes, they are not so well-off etc. But somehow I sense this REAL contentment with their lives, and I envy them for that.
They are living, and we, with all our development crap-shit, are dead.

I feel so bad that the people of Indonesia have given me so much, but yet, I gave so little back in return. They taught me so much, and I'm not just refering to the political theories etc... and now back home in Singapore, I think I'm starting to realize that truly, the best things in life are free.

Anyways... while I contemplate posting up pics, let me first thank the fellow Singaporeans who made Indonesia even more enjoyable. Communal living was so interesting, people of different race, religion, personal beliefs, personalities etc, stuck together for 4 weeks... haha. My roomie was just a god-send, and the other girls helped keep me sane. I remember precious moments like, hanging out by the pool (I really enjoyed that, gals), the intimate room sessions (no, not THAT sort of sessions!) where we had girl talk, supporting each other.. real treasures to keep secure in the heart. And I don't know if I should be freaked that Nethia and I are rather similar... haha, but hey bitch, it was a pleasure. I say when you find a friend whom you can easily make peace with over a beer, with no real need for words, then you better make sure you keep them. And all the rest of the group... thanks.

But most importantly, I think my Prof. is the best! At the risk of sounding like a apple-polisher... he taught me so much, and really, this module, this study trip, definitely taught me more than some of the uni modules combined. You look at politics from all sorts of angles, and you get enlightened by, by just so much.

I kinda dread life after this exam. It'll involve seriously going out to look for a job, and being an adult. I wish I had studied harder so I could do Honours and have an extra year in uni. I just wanna stay in this safe shell, learning. But hey, reality beckons. And I wanna be truly financially independent and able to help the family out. Sigh... that's life.

:P I just realised it's 3 in the morning. And this was just supposed to be a short post.

Oh well... I'll blog again later.... but for now, the bed just looks so inviting.

I wonder what He's doing now....