SG Fairy

Coz I am in one hell of a bitchy mood... so let me crap along, and you can go away if you get too sick of my pathetic behavior.

At least I know I'm not popular enough a blogger to be getting my blog trashed by some 'I-hate-your-guts' ass.

I was just reading someone's blog and this person was going on about her love for women in, yes, that kinky sexy sense, and her latest male crush. And I suddenly felt so inadequate, and pissed off with that blogger.

I've always felt that I had to be bisexual and want to suck on both pussy and dick in order to become fully woman. Don't ask me where I got that idea from, but ya...
It's like, guys want you to want women, and as long as you dun like women in that manner, you're not able to fully satisfy your man. I'v always felt, He'll only be 110% happy with me when I tell Him I wanna fuck another woman.

And this thing about men... I just dun understand. Guys wanna have a woman who loves to fuck anything with a dick, but prefers to marry a virgin. Ok, let's leave the marriage part out for a bit... men like women who have lots of sex. And I feel bad sometimes, I feel like I have to lie to Him that oh yes, I want to fuck that guy, and that guy, and that guy standing over there. Like as though if I dun have desires to fuck other guys apart from Him, then I'm not turning Him on enough, or I'm just simply a boring old hag.

Why do men like it so much that she has a new crush every single bloody month, and she's fucking around like nobody's business? Don't people ever stop to think that maybe she's really screwed up and sad and needs help??? Oh no, guys don't think that. They just think, 'oh yeah baby, show me more boob, tell me more about your latest fuck!'

I've seen her in action, trying to be the centre of attraction in a very public place, being the ultimate slut.
I thought, maybe He'll like me to be like that... He sees it as confidence, perhaps.
But I think, hell no I wanna be like her... there's a very fine line between daring to be yourself, and having no respect for yourself. You behave so slutty in public, with no consideration whatsoever for the hosts and you see it as, oh hey, I'm just being me, I dare to live and be myself. That's so wrong, dearie.
You think you're so sexy, but maybe perhaps the guys look at you and are only thinking, she'll be an easy fuck. Is that what you want?

I want a man to look at me, be intruiged, curious. I wanna be subtle, tease...

I honestly don't think she has guts, is smart, brave, dares to be herself etc.... I think deep inside is a girl in pain.

If anything, she's a girl to be pitied.

I'm just so sick and tired of all the attention on her... wake up, people! Don't celebrate a girl screwing herself up!

I've reached the stage where I read her blog, and I feel disgusted, and very very sorry for her. She gives all this philosophical shit about living and she tries to sound intelligent and knowledgable on books etc... but really, she's just plain silly.

When can people ever get past their own dicks to realise her pain?

You can bloody well go think of me as an insecure bitch who's bitter and jealous of her... I dun bloody well care.
Or maybe perhaps I'm just stressed out over papers and am venting out on some poor innocent soul.
I already stated from the start that this is going to be a crappy, pathetic, vent-frustration blog. And this is my place on the Internet to express my feelings. So fuck off if you dun like what you read.

I like who I am... and I am sorry if He ever starts to feel one day, that I'm not good enough just coz I dun have a thing for women, or have multiple desires to fuck strangers coz I have control over my hormones. I'll just have to convince Him that I am good the way i am coz I am me.

And no, we are not having problems... it's just a topic we have discussed before among ourselves... and I'm just in a pissed off mood so hence am bringing up again.

I need a smoke.