SG Fairy

Coz this is MY space, and as long as I don't say too many bad things about our government, talk about religion and race, I am ok.

I need to pamper myself...

The past couple of days were really hectic... took a lot of my brain-energy.. and I just received some shitty news today... I hate people who look down on my father and try to screw him upside down... all these kind of people, I will hang by the balls, pluck off their pubic hair one by one, cut their dicks and nipples off, and leave them to bleed to death.

I do have moments when I'm angry with my parents etc... but at the end of the day I love them a lot... and I really really really hate people who do bad mean things to my parents....

Sigh.

I really do hate people who are the cause of my dad having difficulty sleeping at night coz he's all worried, frustrated etc... do you know how heart-breaking it feels to see your parents all worried and stuff???

And my stupid brother won't wake up his ideas and buck up.. oh nooo... after numerous talks etc... he refuses to listen, goes and screws up his schoolwork, and give my parents one more thing to be worried about.

I've a good mind to go bang his head against the wall.. maybe that'll wake him up.

So much for a wonderful 22nd birthday...

My birthday is this Monday... and I'm thinking, geez... WHAT birthday... what the fuck is there to be all happy about?

Yes, as you might have guessed by now... I've been feeling stressed out, and when you combine that with pms, you get an extra cynical sgfairy.

Do you know that when I was younger, I used to pen poetry? And most of my poetry were like, really dark and gloomy, talking about death, pain, suffering.. the usual depressive stuff.

I do have my dark side... one not many know about... some know about it... but have never seen me in it...

The side that looks at newborn babies in the hospital and goes, "Why were the parents so cruel as to bring this baby into the harsh world?"

Ya, that cynical.

Being in one of those moods... I'm thinking.. what have I got to show for 22 years of existence? Really, WHAT???

I just realised... I can be very mean towards myself sometimes...

Torture myself...

I suppose... I have a lot to show... I'll like to think that at my funeral, I'll have lots and lots of people coming... not coz they wanna make sure I'm dead, but because they are truly sad that I'm not with them anymore on earth, and they wanna mourn my passing, as well as celebrate my life, exchange stories with one another about the many ways I touched their hearts...

I hope so.

If I had the money... I'll go out on a shopping spree... I'll buy all the things I wanna buy... and I've always wanted to go eat at that brazillian place where they serve lots of meat...

I've got one tattoo design that's been kiv-ed, pending approval.. lol... but there's ths one other tattoo I wanna do, for myself... if I get the green light for it... I wanna do that too...

I desperately need at least 1 pair of open heels... a new hp.. someone to pay my hp bill for this month... 1-2 bras... make-up foundation...

And those are just the essentials, coz I'm only suriving on one pair of heels now, my hp is unsteady, starhub just sent me a gentle reminder, my bras are old and not providing the support I need, and I do need the support to keep my breasts in shape and prevent backache, and my make-up is running out...

We haven't even got to the luxury stuff I would like...

But... haha... I think it was money really really well-spent the last weekend...

Sigh... it was lovely...

I shall spend my birthday in bed... I dun bloody care... I'll hide in bed....

I hate birthdays... somehow, they remind me what a screwed-up youth I was...