SG Fairy

i did promise i would write...

what's been doing on in my life? let's see, i handed in my resignation letter and my last day of work will be in March... family's, well, there are good times, just seems like there are more bad than good times... and suddenly i have a number of friends having problems with their other half - the bitch in me always wants to go "ha! and who was the one who was always pestering me to find a bf but is now cursing her own???"

do you know how tired i am? very tired.

and fucking chinese new year is coming along. i really just want to be on some remote island (failing which, i'll settle for curling up in bed) throughout the new year period but the ever fillal, family-oriented me has pushing my mum to make sure we go visit our uncles coz hey, my mum only sees most of her siblings once a year and i dun want it to become zero times a year. so i'm off looking for clothes, spending the weekend baking, and all that crap. went to chinatown yesterday and it was nice; cny is not cny without a trip to chinatown for me... but well, it's more quiet there this yr.

i am very aware that i'll become a jobless bum in march with no income and all that... and you do end up wondering... what is worst: not getting your paycheck, or working for a ass of a boss in an industry you do not like? sometimes i think, maybe the money is worth all the shit, then i picture myself sitting in the same office, year after year, doing the same old thing, and i get freaked. i still am idealistic enough to believe that no, i will not betray myself! i'll take lesser money than what i'm currently getting if that means i can do what i want!

problem is... that's so so so many things i want to do. so where to start?

do you know what my deepest ambition in life was when i was younger? i always wanted to be a social worker. well ok, not a social worker per se... rather, a counsellor... help troubled teens... young girls who suddenly find themselves pregnant...
i tell people, oh i wanna do this and that and the next thing... and yet deep deep down inside, there's been this small little desire to be a counsellor.

for some reason though, i ended up studying political science... partly coz i love PS, partly coz of.. i dun know... fear(?)

lol... i do still provide conselling now though... only this time i dun get paid. and honestly, i'm sick and tired of having to play aunt agony to my friends.

ok, that sounded wrong... let's re-phrase.

there's the really good close friends for whom you'll do almost anything for... if friends in that category are in shit, i'll gladly listen to them whine and stuff for ages coz they are very special to me. then you have the friends whom you're ok with and dun mind providing a shoulder for them to cry on if they need it every now and then. but it gets damn tiring when they're like, doing it, forever. and it's all so stupid... arguments over "why doesn't he care enough? why doesn't he listen to me when i'm down more?" --- coz you're a whinny bitch (of course i never say that to their faces. i just go along and agree with them that all men are jerks. - i mean, that is true, but them being good fucks kinda makes up for it, lol) and stuff like "we went out and i made special effort to dress up but he didn't even notice! and he kept looking at other girls! doesn't he appreciate me???" - gee girl, some guys can be really blind; you could dye your hair in rainbow shades and they still wun notice! and be thankful they're just looking at other girls, not fucking them. even if they end up cheating on you, what do you expect? they're guys! even the most devoted man in the entire world will still fall when confronted with a totally babelicious babe in bed with her legs spread and the 'fuck me' look - that's life, live with it, otherwise go be a nun.

and my family.. ha... i'm just the eldest daughter, not the bloody head of the family!
you know something is really wrong when you start thinking... it might be nice to book a hotel room for a night, instead of going home. i mean, like i said, we have good times. like yesterday, i had a lovely time with my mum in chinatown, eating the real 'must-wait-twenty-minutes' type of claypot rice, walking around... i just dun like the off-loading of problems, worries, onto me. there's a limit.

speaking of chinatown... i know it's totally not related to my own whines... but i've suddenly got the urge to eat turtle soup. i saw it yesterday at the hawker centre and i would have ordered it if we hadn't already gotten the claypot rice. i miss turtle soup, a lot!

hungry...

sigh, and i was going to write a post about how NS and the cowardly dodgers.

then again, this is my bloody blog and i'll damn well use it to vent frustration if i want to. so you can fuck off if you dun like what you read.

going to fix myself a gin.