Monday, August 14, 2006
Self worth, people... self worth...
There was an article in the Sunday Times today about the increasing number of young girls (late teens, very early twenties) having multiple (more than 2) abortions.
These girls would have an abortion once.. then, just when you taught they had learnt their lesson, they go out and get pregnant again. It's not a case of their condoms not being able to withstand their err, vigourous activities or that they unfortunately were the 1% who would still get pregnant even while on the Pill. It wasn't even about how in the heat of the moment there was no condom around and they just said, "ah, fuck it!", literally.
They just couldn't be bothered. Some thought, "oh, I had abortion liao mah, so less chance of getting pregnant again". Others felt that the pleasure of sex without the hinderance of a condom (oh please, it's not like it'll severely decrease pleasure.. if it did, it's probably just coz he's not doing it right) outweight the risk of pregnancy.
And it disturbed me... that these young girls could treat an abortion so lightly... where's the self-worth? The entire argument about whether a foetus in the womb is considered a living being or not aside, I don't think that a female should go for such operations just for the sake of some short-term gratification. It's not some simple operation like pricking your finger for a blood test. Serious complications could arise. An abortion is not like the action of using liquid paper to bolt out a mistake you made. It's a bloody operation, for goodness' sake!
And oh... what about sexually-transmitted diseases? AIDS, anyone?
After reading that article, I stopped and wondered to myself... maybe those girls who are saying that oh, an abortion is no big deal are really just covering up the pain they feel. But somehow, I couldn't convince myself that that was the case. Which made it all the more disturbing.
I wish those girls could think beyond their next orgasm. What if they meet some nice boy in the future, decide to settle down and start a family, only to find out that she cannot have a baby coz of all the abortions she had? What about when she does have kids of her own? Will she start regretting all those other babies she aborted?
And it goes even further beyond that. This entire thing just simply indicates that generally, young people nowadays treat everything so lightly. They just focus on the latest thing that amuses them to the point that they take no consideration of anything else... they do not think there is a need to take responsiblity for their actions, even actions beyond sex.. and when something doesn't go their way, they just find the fastest, most instant solution and go for it, without really thinking.
Point: they do not think, period. Cos most of their lives, other people do the thinking for them. And that, is soooo sad.
Sigh... of course this issue is especially close to my heart....
After my own abortion... I remember I did my calculations and knew, if I had kept the baby, which month it would be born... I even knew it was possibly the 2nd week of that month. And so the 1st and 2nd years, I'll be a total mess during that period. If I happened to see young babies, I'll starting tearing up. And since my abortion, every Christmas has been different, since I went for the op. just a week before Christmas. the 1st Christmas after the op, I even bought some baby toys and knew them into the sea... lol, I know, so drama-mama right? But I was feeling extremely guilty. I'll imagine my baby up in heaven looking down on me, tears in his accusing little eyes, asking why his mother didn't want him. And then I'll pray that one day in heaven, I'll see my baby again, and make it up to him.
Over time, the pain has lessened a great deal and I no longer do 'dramatic' stuff like buy a little birthday cake, or buy christmas gifts for it... but that doesn't mean the pain has disappeared completely. I'm not like, in total mourning now... I just think about it every now and then... in a very calm manner, in case you're wondering, lol. But while I've forgiven myself and let go of the pain already... I know it's something that'll always be with me, simply coz, one cannot change one's past actions ever.
Given a choice, I rather have had the pain of the abortion, than the nonchalent attitude of some of the interviewees who had had multiple abortions... coz at least I know I am, as harsh as it may sound, more human and capable of feeling and self-worth.
And I hope one day those girls will learn to respect themselves more..
These girls would have an abortion once.. then, just when you taught they had learnt their lesson, they go out and get pregnant again. It's not a case of their condoms not being able to withstand their err, vigourous activities or that they unfortunately were the 1% who would still get pregnant even while on the Pill. It wasn't even about how in the heat of the moment there was no condom around and they just said, "ah, fuck it!", literally.
They just couldn't be bothered. Some thought, "oh, I had abortion liao mah, so less chance of getting pregnant again". Others felt that the pleasure of sex without the hinderance of a condom (oh please, it's not like it'll severely decrease pleasure.. if it did, it's probably just coz he's not doing it right) outweight the risk of pregnancy.
And it disturbed me... that these young girls could treat an abortion so lightly... where's the self-worth? The entire argument about whether a foetus in the womb is considered a living being or not aside, I don't think that a female should go for such operations just for the sake of some short-term gratification. It's not some simple operation like pricking your finger for a blood test. Serious complications could arise. An abortion is not like the action of using liquid paper to bolt out a mistake you made. It's a bloody operation, for goodness' sake!
And oh... what about sexually-transmitted diseases? AIDS, anyone?
After reading that article, I stopped and wondered to myself... maybe those girls who are saying that oh, an abortion is no big deal are really just covering up the pain they feel. But somehow, I couldn't convince myself that that was the case. Which made it all the more disturbing.
I wish those girls could think beyond their next orgasm. What if they meet some nice boy in the future, decide to settle down and start a family, only to find out that she cannot have a baby coz of all the abortions she had? What about when she does have kids of her own? Will she start regretting all those other babies she aborted?
And it goes even further beyond that. This entire thing just simply indicates that generally, young people nowadays treat everything so lightly. They just focus on the latest thing that amuses them to the point that they take no consideration of anything else... they do not think there is a need to take responsiblity for their actions, even actions beyond sex.. and when something doesn't go their way, they just find the fastest, most instant solution and go for it, without really thinking.
Point: they do not think, period. Cos most of their lives, other people do the thinking for them. And that, is soooo sad.
Sigh... of course this issue is especially close to my heart....
After my own abortion... I remember I did my calculations and knew, if I had kept the baby, which month it would be born... I even knew it was possibly the 2nd week of that month. And so the 1st and 2nd years, I'll be a total mess during that period. If I happened to see young babies, I'll starting tearing up. And since my abortion, every Christmas has been different, since I went for the op. just a week before Christmas. the 1st Christmas after the op, I even bought some baby toys and knew them into the sea... lol, I know, so drama-mama right? But I was feeling extremely guilty. I'll imagine my baby up in heaven looking down on me, tears in his accusing little eyes, asking why his mother didn't want him. And then I'll pray that one day in heaven, I'll see my baby again, and make it up to him.
Over time, the pain has lessened a great deal and I no longer do 'dramatic' stuff like buy a little birthday cake, or buy christmas gifts for it... but that doesn't mean the pain has disappeared completely. I'm not like, in total mourning now... I just think about it every now and then... in a very calm manner, in case you're wondering, lol. But while I've forgiven myself and let go of the pain already... I know it's something that'll always be with me, simply coz, one cannot change one's past actions ever.
Given a choice, I rather have had the pain of the abortion, than the nonchalent attitude of some of the interviewees who had had multiple abortions... coz at least I know I am, as harsh as it may sound, more human and capable of feeling and self-worth.
And I hope one day those girls will learn to respect themselves more..
