SG Fairy

sometimes it’s the little things which people say that can really affect you and make you feel like you’re the worst creature crawling around on the face of the planet.

You know those people dun really mean what they say, or if they did mean to use that particular tone, it was just that they were having a bad day and decided to be a jerk coz they want others to hurt as much as they’re hurting.

Yet, even though you know it, you cannot help still feeling terrible.

And that’s kinda sad, isn’t it… to allow yourself to be affected by the idiotic antics of others… those people cannot help but be jerks, but that doesn’t mean you should let it get to you – that’s the theory at least.

But when I get hurt like that… I just wanna wrap my hands around that person’s neck and strangle him/her, scream at that person and shout “f**k off, you f**king idiot! Haven’t you hurt me enough?”

Still, I go back to that person and be nice… coz it’s just in my nature. The woman who professes to have a heart of stone, who doesn’t give a damn… goes back and continues to let herself get hurt.

I should have listened to my English teacher Ms Ng all those years ago when she said I’m too magnanimous to be the point of being masochistic and people will always take me for granted because of that.

Right now I’m just going to content myself with images of that bitch getting slapped by me… even though I know it’s something I’ll never do.

I’m probably just pms-ing

this evening i met with some old sec sch friends... four of us were in the same class from sec 1-2. and i dun know about you, but i have fonder memories of my sec 1-2 class than the sec 3-4 one... perhaps coz the sec3-4 class was a combination of different groups of people from different classes... and the competition was not really good in helping develop friendships.

anyway... the purpose of the meeting was to consolidate our contacts so we could get started getting our old classmates to this reunion gathering i maintain i was emotionally blackmailed into putting together.

tt took less than 20 minutes. and for the remaining 3-plus hours we were together, we just sat in this cafe and ate and chatted.... some catching up, talking about the old days.

one of the guys i met tonight was this person i used to have a major crush on in sec 2. and as we talked about the stuff we all did together, i turned to look at him and i wondered, how in the world did i fall for him anyway? through our conversation, i was reminded how i hated him in sec 1 coz i thought he was an arrogant piece of shit, and he never even participated in class gatherings, and was always so difficult when i had to coordinate the silly cheering/singing practices for inter-class competitions.

and yet somehow, i had fallen head over heels with this guy... and boy did he cause me a lot of heartache in my angst teenage years, right up into upper sec... and now that i think about it... i really wasted a lot of time pinning away for him, when we're so not compatible. i mean, he's a great guy, a good friend to have, but as a bf... we really wouldn't have made it.

shows you just what misguided teenagers we were... not really able to make decisions... even with frienships, i made some mistakes along the way...

thank goodness i'm all grown up now... err, well, at least that's what i think... hahaha

Had a rather stressful week..... He's not around so I've been feeling like, extra lost with work... feel a heavier load coz I've got to make the office somehow work out... and I felt like I had a zillion and one things to do, on top of others...

Plus... I've been sleeping really badly.... I seriously considered going to this nice doctor I know to get som valium... coz I've really got to stop waking up who-knows how many times in the middle of the night.... and when I get jolted from my sleep, I find it really hard to fall back into dreamland again coz I'll be quite awake... and when it's morning and I do finally have to get up, I'm exhausted.

I'll be away next week... back to bangkok for some work... that's another source of stress, coz everything has to go really smoothly while there... and I've got to really be patient and try to never get upset and bitchy while there even when stressed... not good to vent on Him... ya, He'll be there too.

Know what i need? A good whole day at the spa or a beach somewhere or something.. just curl up with a good book and a constant supply of ciggies and alcohol...

AAhhhhh..... Cafe Iguana's Magaritas!

At least I went out for a little while just now... food therapy (what else?) with Nis... that helped a bit...

I'm rambling..... better stop now... I'm reading Harry Potter again *big sheepish grin* I know some people think it's a trashy book, but coz it's kinda brainless reading, it helps me relax better. Besides, I gotta refresh my memory for the last book instalment and the movie!

Your fault, Nis... turning me into a Harry Potter slut.

By the way, could I borrow books 1 and 2, Nis? *adjusts halo on head*

I was on my way back to the office from an errand this afternoon when a Sikh stopped me.

At first I thought he was a tourist who was lost and needed help with directions.... but I soon realised that it was not to be.

It's very weird when just 10 seconds after meeting you, the guy tells you a couple of stuff about yourself that you haven't blabbered to others. It's like, "woah... wait a min here, what's going on?"

I mean, when you go visit a fortune teller of some sort, they talk to you a bit first, then start saying stuff about you they might just as well have derived from their few minutes' conversation with you. It's all scientific... mental... psychology. That I understand and would take what they say with a pinch of salt.

But when a complete stranger starts saying stuff about you that he wouldn't have known after just saying "hi!".... that's curious... and freaky.

Of course at the end of it all, he said he wanted to take just 5 minutes of my time and give me a blessing (for a fee, I'm sure). Some might say, "well, you should have taken it, since he was so fantastic!" but I didn't. When you take my religious background into consideration, I'm just not too such stuff. It's just.... not right... and a waste of money.

But ya... the encounter did leave me a little shaken during the rest of the day... I kept playing back in my mind some of the stuff he had said...

And in case you're wondering... one of his predictions for me was that I'll make lots of money next month!

Now that I'll take!