Sunday, July 24, 2005
Family... and shit...
i was reminded today why I had wanted to stay longer in Indonesia.
I hate it when parents are shouting at each other, or at my brother, little brat that he can be at times...
I hate the... feeling that I have to be good, please them... that my whole life has to evolve around them. I am a pretty good girl... I attend family functions as much as I really hate visiting some of the relatives at time... I spend my entire weekends at home, unless there's something really great coming up. I plan my weekdays such that at least I'm not out all the time. And it's killing me.
That's what I loved abt living in hall and being in Indo.
The time was mine... I didn't have to keep worrying about whether or not I'll be a min late going home, I didn't have to report to them... I could... I could be me.
I'm trying to plot, find a way to move out asap. To be fair, it won't be good to do so now. It's a long-term goal... move out by say... 25?
I want my own place! My time and life!
I need to get back to my essay.
I hate it when parents are shouting at each other, or at my brother, little brat that he can be at times...
I hate the... feeling that I have to be good, please them... that my whole life has to evolve around them. I am a pretty good girl... I attend family functions as much as I really hate visiting some of the relatives at time... I spend my entire weekends at home, unless there's something really great coming up. I plan my weekdays such that at least I'm not out all the time. And it's killing me.
That's what I loved abt living in hall and being in Indo.
The time was mine... I didn't have to keep worrying about whether or not I'll be a min late going home, I didn't have to report to them... I could... I could be me.
I'm trying to plot, find a way to move out asap. To be fair, it won't be good to do so now. It's a long-term goal... move out by say... 25?
I want my own place! My time and life!
I need to get back to my essay.
