SG Fairy

I had told friends that the new job had to do with credit management and assessment, because that was what the boss told me the jobscope would be.

Then when I arrived, I was dumped at a desk and taught the wonders of processing court documents.

This is how you fill in the 'Writs of Summons' letter, ok? Change these address, the monetary figures the bank is going after the debtor for... blah blah blah

I feel so powerful, I know the documents you need to make someone bankrupt and how to file them out.

And I see other girls in the office liaisoning with banks, doing credit assessment.

I feel cheated.

I dun want to come across as being arrogant because I am not. I agree that a degree doesn't guarantee you a high-flying job. But the thing is, I was told I would get such and such a jobscope, and I end up with a typing job.

It can be a difficult job because everyone is pressurizing you to quickly do their document coz everyone wants theirs like, a minute ago. And you have to make sure the details are all correct, and trust me, it is no fun rushing for time as you try to sort out all the figures to come up with the client's Proof of Debt.

But I just dun feel so proud of myself right now.. I dun feel like I'm an accomplished individual. Like, wtf, I'm a graduate, but yet I am not good enough.

I like the fast-paced environment in this office, and yes, I do enjoy the pressure... and the girls in the office are nice, and oh please, how many offices actually set smoking breaks for their smoking employees???

but I want more of a challenge.. I wanna be analysing stuff... etc...

I keep telling myself... maybe the boss is trying to test me. Cos almost all his employees are diploma holders so he wants to see if this graduate is an arrogant bitch. So put her in the lowest, most thankless job and see how she manages.. and if she does well, then put her in something else.

And I keep thinking about my paycheck... and how Starhub will cut my line soon coz I have zero money to pay my hp bills... I skip lunch or bring bread from home coz Shenton Way hawker food is freaking expensive (yet i'm still putting on loads of weight!)... I wonder if I should even be buying myself a cup of kopi-o from the coffeeshop... i am committing the beauty sin of using soap to wash my face coz i dun wanna buy a proper facial wash as that's money... and it's hard, almost embarrassing to arrange friends coz i'm broke, and if I really do wanna meet a friend, I have to hope they dun mind meeting at a coffeeshop or going out for ladies' night coz I'm a cheapskate who cannot buy my own poison.

It's..... depressing... I will stick with this job... and keep praying for pay-check day to come soon...

Thank goodness He has been keeping me sane these past few days.... haha, when He asked me how work was... I did not tell Him much mainly coz the atmosphere was so right and I didn't wanna spoil the mood... I would rather be thinking about Him and listening to Him tell me about all He had been doing than my work, like, ok, office hours are over so let's close the door to that. But I will talk to Him more about it, tell Him about my colleagues etc... coz I know He would want to hear them... just give me a bit of time to get over my whinning ok?
Really, Him, thank you for the past few days...

I look at the Recruit, and wonder if I should even bother looking through it.

Even if I was stripped of my degree... I am still an intelligent, highly capable person.

So why am I spending 9 hours, 5 days a week, typing documents??!?!?!?!

I am very grateful for this job...

Am just feeling that I'm lacking in the job-satisfaction department... and since this is my blog, I can jolly well whine about it as much as I want to, so there!

And if there are any of you out there who really do care about me... dun worry about me.
This is just a 'I am in a depressed mood' fairy right now.

And I seriously, seriously.... need hard liquor...

Can you believe it? I actually had a dream last night where I was at a bar, and before me were glasses after glasses of beer, volka, gin tonic, wine, tequila!!!!!!!!!!

Shit... my parents are now back from KL.

Would it be too cheapskate to go CU or something on wed at about 9-plus... sit at their bar and keep ordering and drinking for an hour or so, then go home?

Ya, I thought so too...

But considering how I've been having these minor breathing problems (dun worry, I can still have rough kinky sex ;> )... maybe I should lay off the ciggies and alcohol...

Maybe.

Speaking of which, Nis was asking me very strange questions about sex the other night... I highly suspect that she just had a sexual encounter but since she has firmly denied it, I shall continue pretending along with her that they are really just questions she is asking on someone else's behalf, just to save her the embarrassment.

Yes, Nis, I know... I'm EVIL....

You better jolly well let me in on that piece of gossip soon... I'm dying of curiosity.

Yes, we're all gossiping bitches.

I'm feeling a little better now.... you always get into a better mood once you start dwelling on the scandalous things that other people have gotten into... gossip can make one feel good, when the gossip does not involve yourself.