SG Fairy

Lots of people have been going on and on this week about how this week is a shitty week, becaue there are two public holidays this week that decided they had to separate themselves to be distinctive - leaving us to work alternate days.

I cannot really be taking leave because the other researcher is Hindu and she took the entire week off. Besides, it is her festive holiday; I hope she'll do the same for me for Christmas and Chinese New Year.

When I woke up this morning, one of my first thoughts was, 'I hate Mondays and this week in particular'. And I cursed every person out there who had taken Monday and/or Wednesday and/or Friday off.

Then during my showers I started thinking more about it and I figured, instead of moaning and groaning and concentrating on the two public holidays, why not i celebrate the fact that I'm only going to be working three days this week instead of the usual five?

With my spirits considerably raised, I got all dressed and walked out of the estate.

Then it started to pour.

I stuck my middle finger out at the sky.

Yes, go on, you can pour as much cold water on me as you want but I will not let my spirits be defeated by a little stupid rain! Go ahead, try all you want!
*insert evil triumphant laugh*

Now I am at work, and my demin jacket is soaked through.

*mutters*

I'm already craving a volka-cranberry and a tequila shot... make that doubles, please.

This week has been so busy and rushed.... am handling an urgent search now and it's been quite stressful. Didn't help that I had my boss breathing down my neck, telling me to do this and that and these and those and whatever. Plus, he expected me to work at an extremely fast pace, to do 50 things in 5 minutes.

Sigh... I really hope we can close this sale soon.

Anyway... it's the weekend already, why am I still talking about work?

It was quite interesting... for some reason, one of the days early on in the week, I decided to open my 'document drawer'. This is where I stare letters etc. I started taking stuff out and I re-discovered my poety book. It was my 2nd book so there weren't much stuff inside, but well, I could still see some of my totally lame and depressing poems inside.

And I also found this really sweet poem someone once wrote to me.

Ok so I lied. He didn't write it to me as a declaration of love but rather to show/prove to me that he could compose poetry. But I like to think that it was a special love poem from him to me... I'm one of those girls who would get swept off my feet if some guy recited the balcony scene of Romeo & Juliet to me in that charming tone... or sing me a evergreen love song...

Tsk... this will totally wreck my 'cynical bitch' image.

I also discovered 2 diaries from my primary-secondary school days... from about pri6 to sec 1. And gosh, the sort of crap I wrote... were we really such idiots when we were kids?

That last bit has just made me feel damn old.

It was full of stuff like, "I saw XXX today, and he got look at me for a while. I wonder if he likes me or not" or "I am so angry with YYY coz she tell XXX that i like him" or "ZZZ so bad... today he walk by our clas window and then my pencil case was on the window sill, and he take it and run away. Then I ask him just now to return to me but he dun want! So I go hit him very hard until he give back."

*shakes head*

But I must say, it all made for an interesting read... When you're a young little girl, your world is so small. And now, your world is so wide and vast, it has gone beyond friends, boys and books.
And I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

*pauses to think*

It is a good thing... more enriched. After all, you only learn through experience.

LOL... I have a fan.... someone emailed me and told me he enjoys my blog.
I am flattered... thinking about how to handle it though.

It's already 1-plus in the morning...

I have been looking forward to this evening all week... coz it means I can sleep til past noon!!!!!!
My one 'real-sleep' night.

Going to go read some blogs, then snuggle in with David Eddings, then zzzzzzzzzz

I.Hate.Mondays.And.PMS.

I was comtemplating banging my head against the office window, and then throwing my laptop and desk phone out of it when my hp started vibrating. Because I am one of those pathetic people who cannot live without their hp, I immediately pushed those attractive thoughts aside and opened the sms.

E was asking me about my plans for the evening.

We had made plans last week to go, again, for a food-feast.She later dumped me for another group of friends. I guessed that now our friends must have dumped her and so hence she was contacting me.

This so-and-so cannot make it, then the other so-and-so last minute got stomach ache, and then hor...... so I wanna see if you free or not lor?

If only I could be that accurate guessing 4-D numbers.

So we arranged to meet at Newton for dinner... we had talked earlier on about stingray, kangkong, seahum etc... so ya, it all fitted together.

For those of you ignorant goons who are not aware, the food centre is currently undergoing renovation, so all the stalls have been re-located to a piece of land less than 5 minutes walk from the original site.

E was not aware that the location had changed.

Hehe...

We sat under the stars, enjoying the light evening breeze as we feasted on sambal kangkong (damn shiok!), sambal stingray, seahum and oyster omelette (damn damn shiok!! - nowadays, it's hard to find a good stall which gives you big fresh juicy oysters)

We chatted about life in general, gossiped over friends, and discussed homosexuality... we both agreed that ff could be more common than people may think. After all, a lesbian couple doesn't necessarily have to be a butch-les mix. It could be two les, with long hair, looking oh-so-feminine... you just do not know.

Just got a sudden thought: wouldn't it be ironic if members of the public observing us from afar while we were having our homosexuality discussion, thougt that we were lesbians???
After all, we were two pathetic girls sitting alone, on a friday evening, with a number of dishes on our table.
E has a 'short' hairstyle, while my hair kisses my butt-crack... E doesn't look like a butch, mind you, but people could have easily jumped to that conclusion just by looking at our hair lengths, being the silly brains that they are.

Funny.

Lol.. I hope that thought doesn't distract you from your mahjong marathon tomorrow, E, while I sleep the day away.

And of course, no, I did not think I was a 'spare-tire'. :P

I'm going to Bangkok next month!!!

Yes, go on, feel free to get oh so jealous of me, I'll enjoy that.

And I've already started creating a list of things I wanna get while there:
1) A new handphone perhaps?
--- I think the network roaming/detection etc for my current hp is not so good now. And sometimes it decides to take naps and switches itself off. :P
I'm thinking about a Nokia... with MP3 and radio...

2) Patricia Cornwell's Trace
- I am a big big big fan of hers. I've read all her books save for this one and that's coz it came out not too long ago. It's in SG bookshops, but well, I might get it cheaper in Bbk.

3) Tom Clancy's Red Rabbit and Teeth of the Tiger
- Yes I know some people think he is overrated, but I like him. And I wanna collect all his books, lol.

4) Shoes!!!
- Specifically 2 pairs of heels and a pair of flats. It's not a lot, considering that I'm now using just one pair of shoes; I need to fix the heel of my left boot.

5) Bras
- What to do? Hard to find my size my SG lah... and if I do see them, they are either too auntie looking, or too plain. It's as though the designers, envious of us well-endowed women, decided to take revenge by designing terrible-looking bras for us. Marks & Spencer has a lovely selection, but I'm not all that rich; no heart to let my $60 bra take 'rough treatment'.


Of course there are other things I'll like to get, but these are the essentials... well ok, excluding (2) and (3) - though books are very important to me.

Hmmm...

Gotta get back to work... If I can get some commission out of my searches, then I'll be able to breathe more easily in Bbk.

I was reading one of my friend's blog... she did the 'I am the girl who...' thing, and it was just so beautiful.

E dear, I just wanna thank you for being one of the most genuine people one could ever have for a friend.

The both of us don't meet every single week, and most of the time when we chat on msn, it's to complain about work/our body size/men, discuss food, and gossip.

And those times when we did engage in more serious conversations, they were over depressing topics like, our ambitions, men, and the huge possibility that we will never marry.

But I think the very fact that we could have had moments where for those few hours, we just connected and could feel really comfortable and TALK... indicates that there is something about our friendship that is worth treasuring.

I have many friends, but a handful whom I can really call FRIENDS. Perhaps it is because I am just anal-retentive, extremely picky about my friends, or well, it's just not in my nature to 'bare my soul' to people. There's a very small number of people whom I feel really comfortable with, and think I can trust enough, to show them my true self. And seriously, good friends are hard to come by.

You see E, and she can come across as really happy-go-lucky and la-di-da (that's my nicer way of saying 'brainless', girl ;>). But her blog spot reminded me of this matured stable warmth inside of her, which I'm been fortunate enough to experience.

So regardless of whether or not we'll both become spinsters, or get our dream job, or well, whatever... thanks, E.

And ya... I miss the chaotic uni-hostel days...
:P There's no point in being able to stay out late as an adult, if you still have to get up early the next day to go to work.

I do enjoy a Bush-whacking episode...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,11069-1823385,00.html

Miers kinda reminds me of a friend of mine - she thinks George Bush is cute.

*roll eyes*

The very Bush Administration which is leading the Democratic evangalism mission, is putting its own cronies in place.

post deleted.

Apparrently the racist bloggers have been dealt with by the law:


So short a jail sentence????? Keep them in longer, I say!!!

And what about re-education programs?
When the government arrested the JI people, they were sent for re-education. You can call it brainwashing if you like, but the anal bitch in me says, some things are either right or wrong - they have no grey area... and if you're wrong, you go get educated on what the right thing should be.

Those two guys should be given the opportunity to go mix with the Malay community... learn more about them etc...

A year later, they should be checked up on. If they're still racist assholes, they get caned.

I am aware that there are people out there who have been BRAINWASHED and OVERWHELMED by the entire American democracy and civil rights crap, that they're ever eager to kiss american ass and go "Oh why were those 2 bloggers fined and jailed?" Where are their rights? Singapore has no freedom of speech!!!"

Two scenerios:
(1) There are a lot of public restrictions, but there is at least still some space for me to beable to exercise some of my private civil rights.
(2) There are no public restrictions, and because humans beings are idiots by nature, there are people carrying arms, and racial riots coz people could talk freely about hating certain races and advocate genocide... I may not be able to exercise any of my private civil rights in the first place coz I may not have any property of my own (house burned down during riot), or worst still, I got killed by some silly gun-owner.

--- I'll choose (1).
Just think about it, for (2), when you're dead, where rights you wanna exercise, I ask you???

I think it was Issac Berlin who wrote that thing about 'Two Concepts of Liberty'. One of the main points was that the law has to be applied in certain areas (even if they are restricting), to protect the public so they are get to enjoy some of their rights in the first place. Every right has its limits, boundary.
Eg: You have the right to freedom of speech but you cannot make racist comments, coz that might affect someone else's right to peaceful living or something.

Singapore has no choice but to be very very strict when racial issues come into place. Yes I agree that the government should encourage more exchanges, to nurture greater understanding and tolerance among the races. But once someone steps out of line, he/she should be treated harshly. Simple as that.

Jail them for a longer period I say! And put them on a racial-tolerance program or something.

Sorry I've not been around for the past week...

On the whole, this week has been very... well, eventful. :D I've also been rather busy with work, and most days, by the time I get home, I'm too tired and not really keen to be doing much.

Working life... sigh...

Anyway...

There was an interesting article in the Today papers, friday edition. Apparrently, the primary six kids found the PSLE Maths paper tough:
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/76809.asp

I think the entire thing is really silly. If the complaint was over the examinable issues, for example, there were algebra questions in the paper, when the kids haven't covered that, then fine, go ahead, cry, complain etc.

But the issue was about the questions being worded differently, not being straight-forward enough.
One of the teachers said it so well. She said that it was probably because there weren't routine questions, so the kids didn't know what to do.

I remember for my O-levels... so many of my classmates did the Ten-Year Series not because they wanted the practice. Rather, they wanted to be able to memorise the answers. You see, most times, the questions would be worded in the same manner.. one year the question could involve something like "Mary bought 10 eggs and gave away 2", and the following year it'll be "Mary bought 10 chickens and gave away 2". So the structure, sentence format etc, were all the same. Hence, if you'll memorise the answers, you should be able to just vomit all of that out on paper for your exam, and get that A.

But the problem was this: if my classmates were posed a question that involved, "Billy sold 10 sweets and bought back 2", they'll be at a total loss because they didn't really understand the concept of addition and subtraction in the first place.

And I think that was what happened with this year's PSLE Maths paper. Our kids have been taught to be exam-smart, and not smart-smart. So when faced with a question written in a different manner, they are at a total loss.

Of course granted, I have not seen the paper, so perhaps it was really really difficult, and it covered unfamiliar topics (as much as I doubt it). --- I had to put that one-liner in lest I get called a heartless bitch or something.

But really... I think it is important that parents don't just start complaining and complaining... I hope it'll help them realise, we need to get our kids thinking more.
Perhaps this incident would have helped everyone realise that we cannot just teach our kids to memorise answers. Questions should not be routine; if they are worded differently, that'll just help them exercise their brain more and make them think, "hmm... what does it mean?"
It'll be good if we can nurture people who'll not spend their lives going around, pointing at the grass and going, "grass is green! grass is green!" It'll be good if they are able to exercise their brains a little more and go "I know I was taught that grass is green. But is it really? What if it was painted green? Or... how can I be sure that what I see before me is really there? Do we just see what we choose to see? Or is everything an illusion? Are we in a Matrix???" *suspense music plays on*

You get the picture...


In case you're wondering, I never did bother to memorise those structured answers from the Ten-Year Series for my O's.
I studied my textbooks and notes more.
And I think I did quite well.... *pats self on back*

How many kids you know could jump 2 grades in less than one month for their Pure Physics and Pure Chemistry? *big grin*

I was chatting with a friend online just now, let's call her Z... and we got to talking about 'the old days' and our crushes etc... it was nice...

I have had some good memories of my own you know...

Sitting very close to each other during the church service, til K and I had our arms squashed up against each other. Our seats were comfortable, but since we couldn't exactly hold hands in church, we settled for the arms bit. Oh, and ya, our knees were touching.
Lol, it was all cutesy puppy love indeed... once, we were walking together in Pasir Ris park, and his hand 'accidentally' brushed against mine, and somehow, we ended up holding hands... it was a scene right out of some romantic comedy. Then, we sat on a breakwater, looking out at the waves, my head rest on his knee, his arms around me...

Sitting somewhere near the summit of Mt. Kinabalu, watching the sun rise up from under the clouds... A's arm around me, keeping me warm.... our guide said we looked very sweet together.

T demanding to know why I was being a little cold to him... our friends had been teasing me, asking if I had a crush on him. Of course I had a huge major big crush on him, but I wasn't going to announce it to the entire world. So I was spending less time with him, to get rid of suspicion. We still had quite a number of days up in the mountains, and I didn't want my friends to gossip and tease too much; more importantly, I didn't want him to get all self-conscious and start distancing himself from me... I was not totally sure whether or not he liked me too, but I didn't want to take the risk. If I couldn't have his heart, then I'll settle for his friendship. (ya, I know, so lame, but I was a young girl then!)...
So there we were, standing at the top of the stairs and i quickly brushed by him, hoping to get down to the next level as soon as possible, then I could avoid answering that question. But he caught me firmly by the arm, pulling me back. We both lost balance, and fell together in a heap... and there I was, my head resting on his chest, one of his arms around my waist, his breath on my neck. I've always wondered if I had imagined it, or whether he did indeed take a little longer to let go of me. And yes, I did spend quite a bit of time after that constantly replaying that moment, when a guy grabbed hold of me, not letting me go, and me falling into his arms... lol...
Yeah.. I did have a huge crush on T... I did finally confess that I wasn't spending that much time with him coz I couldn't take the teasing, and he laughed at me and told me I was being silly. 3-4 times, we did somehow find our sleeping bags side by side to each other, and we'll talk and talk, and finallly fall asleep together. Then, I'll wake up listening to his gentle breathing. Our last night in the mountains, we had a little party, with our guides. The villagers brought out their home-brewed poison and we all drank, sang songs, and stuff. And I danced with him... he came to me, held out his hand, and asked me to dance with him.

Hmm.. you know... lol... we once had phone sex together.

THAT caught your attention!

Of course back then we didn't know it was phone sex. And it wasn't exactly phone sex. T and I used to talk on the phone every single night for a couple of hours. It wasn't that big a deal; back then, I could be spending a couple of hours a day talking to friends on the phone, though I'll admit that most times, those late-calls would be from guys. (My longest night call with a guy lasted til about 5am in the morning; we both had to be in school later in the morning for Speech Day rehearsals) I of course cannot remember how the conversation got started, but he started saying that he'll explain/demostrate how sparks can fly when a male and female get together. Please remember, I was only about 15 then ok, a young innocent mind. He started describing how i'll be sitting on a sofa with a guy, and how his fingers would run down the side of my face, how he'll gently kiss my lips, and nibble along my neck...
Basically, he described a make-out scene... he has a very nice voice... and I remembered his tone getting lower, sexier... and my body felt all weird and stuff, listening to him.
Of course now I know and understand that that was me getting all horny.

I wonder how he's doing sometimes... we lost touch after he graduated... and of course now I dun have a crush on him anymore... but he was a very good friend...

Hmmm... this thing called puppy love. Sometimes when you look back, think back to all those little little things you did when in primary and secondary school, you can't help laughing and shaking your head sometimes... you think, "gosh, I was like that?????"

Sigh