Thursday, September 29, 2005
I visited the dentist just now... a pre-insurance checkup.
The moment I walked in, I wanted to bolt. The dentist chair looked so evil.
And people wonder why my last dental check up was during my primary school days.
I felt so violated! raped! The stupid dentist was poking about my teeth and all that... made me feel so embarrassed.
The worst was when he stuffed two fingers down the side of my teeth and told me to bite down...
err.... ok
forced blowjob...
SGFairy... why does almost everything have sexual implications for you?
You try having two fingers in your mouth!
The moment I walked in, I wanted to bolt. The dentist chair looked so evil.
And people wonder why my last dental check up was during my primary school days.
I felt so violated! raped! The stupid dentist was poking about my teeth and all that... made me feel so embarrassed.
The worst was when he stuffed two fingers down the side of my teeth and told me to bite down...
err.... ok
forced blowjob...
SGFairy... why does almost everything have sexual implications for you?
You try having two fingers in your mouth!
Friday, September 23, 2005
People, I present to you, Male Horniness!!!!
Apparrently, this farmer was so into his new young wife, he dropped this heavy sack of grain on his erect dick while ogling her. He snapped his dick's vital tendons and ligaments.... even the blue pill cannot help him.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1544207.html?menu=
My question is this:
Just how long was his dick?
Think about it... He would have been holding on to the sack of grain in front of Him... distracted, He dropped the sack... His erect dick would have to long enough to cause that sort of damage, no?
Oh, who am I to know about all these sort of things, being the innocent little girl that I am?
Hmm.... why are guys so excited over blowjobs? Don't they realise that they are actually putting themselves at so much risk?
Harder, baby, suck me harder... oh yes... faster... ooohhh.... OOUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!
Oops!
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1544207.html?menu=
My question is this:
Just how long was his dick?
Think about it... He would have been holding on to the sack of grain in front of Him... distracted, He dropped the sack... His erect dick would have to long enough to cause that sort of damage, no?
Oh, who am I to know about all these sort of things, being the innocent little girl that I am?
Hmm.... why are guys so excited over blowjobs? Don't they realise that they are actually putting themselves at so much risk?
Harder, baby, suck me harder... oh yes... faster... ooohhh.... OOUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!
Oops!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
The kind of crap you read in the papers these days...
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/73713.asp
"I cannot have a person who is like that in my Cabinet who may succeed and become the Prime Minister ... Imagine having a gay Prime Minister — nobody would be safe," Dr Mahathir had told reporters.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Did he really say that? I mean like, has his brain really aged that much?
I know George W Bush is a bit, well ok, a huge wacko... but I dun think even he would have been as dumb as that, to say what Dr. M said.
It's such an un-political thing to say! It's so shallow... a lame attack attempt.
I mean, you attack that guy's policies, vision for the country, stuff like that.... but if a politican has to resort to a comment like tt... it just exposes how immatured that person is.
Maybe Dr. M is too bored with retirement... He had to meddle into Proton's affairs, and now he comes and does this... it's going to affect the current PM badly, but then again, I suppose Dr. M doesn't really care.
Whoever can han-tan, han-tan ah!!!
Come on now guys... why dun you just kiss and make up?
Nah... better not... might come across as being gay...
Oh.. by the way...
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/73574.asp
What trial?????
I thought trials involved things like, 'innocent til proven guilty', a fair unbiased justice system, unrestricted access to counsel.... you know, the usual sort of things the American Democracy system prides itself on?
And if Guantanamo Bay isn't really American... can have trial ah?
I found it so funny... Americans conducting trials etc, on Cuban soil.
Yes.. you've got it right... I'm in the "let's-pretent-to-be-real-smart-and-just-pass-comments-about-anything" mood
"I cannot have a person who is like that in my Cabinet who may succeed and become the Prime Minister ... Imagine having a gay Prime Minister — nobody would be safe," Dr Mahathir had told reporters.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Did he really say that? I mean like, has his brain really aged that much?
I know George W Bush is a bit, well ok, a huge wacko... but I dun think even he would have been as dumb as that, to say what Dr. M said.
It's such an un-political thing to say! It's so shallow... a lame attack attempt.
I mean, you attack that guy's policies, vision for the country, stuff like that.... but if a politican has to resort to a comment like tt... it just exposes how immatured that person is.
Maybe Dr. M is too bored with retirement... He had to meddle into Proton's affairs, and now he comes and does this... it's going to affect the current PM badly, but then again, I suppose Dr. M doesn't really care.
Whoever can han-tan, han-tan ah!!!
Come on now guys... why dun you just kiss and make up?
Nah... better not... might come across as being gay...
Oh.. by the way...
http://www.todayonline.com/articles/73574.asp
What trial?????
I thought trials involved things like, 'innocent til proven guilty', a fair unbiased justice system, unrestricted access to counsel.... you know, the usual sort of things the American Democracy system prides itself on?
And if Guantanamo Bay isn't really American... can have trial ah?
I found it so funny... Americans conducting trials etc, on Cuban soil.
Yes.. you've got it right... I'm in the "let's-pretent-to-be-real-smart-and-just-pass-comments-about-anything" mood
Monday, September 19, 2005
today was a terrible day... i'm not sure if it's just pms, or a combination of pms and some other shitty thing, or just me being plain shitty... but today sucked, big time.
and i thought birthdays are supposed to be damn shiok.
i woke up and watched a bit of the emmy's, made a mental note to watch it again at night so i could catch donald trump make a fool of himself. i got an sms from Him, telling me that He was back; that brought a smile to my face. then i went to the gym for an hour, was surprised that i still got my stamina... must be due to the regular sex He's giving me. i got back, talked a bit more to Him while i finished up on the ironing. i did watch a little cable... and ate a bit... lazied around til it was time to get ready to go out for dinner.
i was very touched... they got me a cake... mich and net gave me a lovely pair of earrings, and gosh, angie also got me a little something... i was thinking, just dinner, chit-chat, and say bye... oh, and get my bloody pics!!!!! i didn't get the pics, but i got a bunch of people singing the happy birthday song to me in a crowded restaurant, so embarrassing.
on the whole, it's not like i was tucked in bed all day, lying in the darkness, moping about. i did do stuff, move around etc, smile, laugh, chat.... i really enjoyed meeting up with the indo group again, and the little sms chat with Him... but still somehow, deep down inside, i was feeling very subduced.... very quiet inside, wishing i could indeed just spend all day in bed, lying in the darkness.... i wasn't feeling all gay about my birthday, or the day in general, at all.
now... i'm wishing i had money in my wallet, coz i really want a couple of drinks... it's my birthday, and i can't even get myself some booze... or ciggies, for that matter. while walking home, i saw a crumpled winston ciggie box on the ground - i wanted to pick it up and hug it. no alcohol, no ciggie... an empty home, with a shitty brother....
i was so frustrated... i have been spending so much time cooking for him, doing the clothes etc... he finished the chicken stew for dinner... but left one miserable piece of chicken neck... so the whole pot was clean, save for that piece of neck. and he finished the rice, but did not even bother to take the pot out. like fuck... i banged his door down and gave him a earful.
i'm feeling... i miss my parents... i'm so stressed out.... i kept worrying abt them all weekend... i really wish they were home... they're not here, i'm all alone, having to take care of the house... i'm worried shit about them... and i feel like screaming...
i suppose... sometimes... you worry and worry and worry... til it reaches a point where you just reach the end... and you break... i think i feel the responsibility as the eldest child... that i have to take care of my parents... i sit... talk to my mum, coz i know she wants someone to talk to, get all the stress out... and i sit with my dad too... i feel i have to be strong for them, be the pillar of strength, so they feel happy when they come home... but now...
i hate today...
lol... i am grateful i'm talking to ppl online... people trying to keep me sane.
and i thought birthdays are supposed to be damn shiok.
i woke up and watched a bit of the emmy's, made a mental note to watch it again at night so i could catch donald trump make a fool of himself. i got an sms from Him, telling me that He was back; that brought a smile to my face. then i went to the gym for an hour, was surprised that i still got my stamina... must be due to the regular sex He's giving me. i got back, talked a bit more to Him while i finished up on the ironing. i did watch a little cable... and ate a bit... lazied around til it was time to get ready to go out for dinner.
i was very touched... they got me a cake... mich and net gave me a lovely pair of earrings, and gosh, angie also got me a little something... i was thinking, just dinner, chit-chat, and say bye... oh, and get my bloody pics!!!!! i didn't get the pics, but i got a bunch of people singing the happy birthday song to me in a crowded restaurant, so embarrassing.
on the whole, it's not like i was tucked in bed all day, lying in the darkness, moping about. i did do stuff, move around etc, smile, laugh, chat.... i really enjoyed meeting up with the indo group again, and the little sms chat with Him... but still somehow, deep down inside, i was feeling very subduced.... very quiet inside, wishing i could indeed just spend all day in bed, lying in the darkness.... i wasn't feeling all gay about my birthday, or the day in general, at all.
now... i'm wishing i had money in my wallet, coz i really want a couple of drinks... it's my birthday, and i can't even get myself some booze... or ciggies, for that matter. while walking home, i saw a crumpled winston ciggie box on the ground - i wanted to pick it up and hug it. no alcohol, no ciggie... an empty home, with a shitty brother....
i was so frustrated... i have been spending so much time cooking for him, doing the clothes etc... he finished the chicken stew for dinner... but left one miserable piece of chicken neck... so the whole pot was clean, save for that piece of neck. and he finished the rice, but did not even bother to take the pot out. like fuck... i banged his door down and gave him a earful.
i'm feeling... i miss my parents... i'm so stressed out.... i kept worrying abt them all weekend... i really wish they were home... they're not here, i'm all alone, having to take care of the house... i'm worried shit about them... and i feel like screaming...
i suppose... sometimes... you worry and worry and worry... til it reaches a point where you just reach the end... and you break... i think i feel the responsibility as the eldest child... that i have to take care of my parents... i sit... talk to my mum, coz i know she wants someone to talk to, get all the stress out... and i sit with my dad too... i feel i have to be strong for them, be the pillar of strength, so they feel happy when they come home... but now...
i hate today...
lol... i am grateful i'm talking to ppl online... people trying to keep me sane.
A friend sent me this via email... I'm not sure how true it is, but I did like the description of myself, as a swan... seems kinda accurate.
________________________
We have delved into ancient mythology and Celtic history to come up with personality traits of different birds, which can be compared with people.
21 Jan - 17 Feb
Robin
A cool exterior disguises a fiery temper and is very opinionated - although those opinions are not always shared by everyone. They are proud and particularly home-loving, although have a tendency to be quarrelsome.
18 Feb - 17 March
Goldfinch
Goldfinch people are colourful characters who are sensitive and always alert. They are gregarious by nature and love being in groups of people, which offers them security. They need to find an outlet for their imaginative abilities or they are sometimes be in danger of becoming nervous and irritable.
18 March - 14 April
Hawk
A powerful individual which displays courage and a sometimes ruthless determination. Avoids problematical obstacles with skill, although must be fully targeted so as not to waste energy in fruitless chases for the impossible.
15 April - 12 May
Albatross
Has a tendency to have a mind that wanders, but when in search of a particular goal, will travel great lengths to achieve it. Occasionally, the albatross may become caught up in things it shouldn't when not seeing clearly enough.
13 May - 9 June
Dove
Peace-loving by nature, doves will bill and coo about things close to their heart. They enjoy a fulfilling love-life and rarely fail to satisfy. They are also patient, adaptable and personable. Their lack of aggression sometimes makes them the victim of more predatory characters.
10 June- 7 July
Eagle
A well-respected figure which has excellent visionary qualities. Eagles will truck no nonsense and will fix opponents with a powerful stare. They have the power to rise above the trivial aspects of humanity, and are highly talon-ted.
8 July- 4 August
Nightingale
More often heard before being seen, nightingales always have something to say for themselves. They are however very much in tune with their partners. Their unimpressive exterior hides a personality that is just waiting to burst out.
5 August - 1 Sept
Kingfisher
Another flamboyant and colourful character that is always exciting to encounter. They rush around at great speed and have a close spiritual affinity with water. They have a sharp and perceptive head on them, but can make them impetuous enough to dive in where others would fear to go.
2 Sept - 29 Sept
Swan (ME!)
The swan is a complex character. While appearing on the surface as a calm and relaxed individual, underneath they are working hard to keep up with the pace of modern life. If provoked their natural graceful demeanour can give way to a violent temper which puts them in a flap. They are definitely someone to have on your side.
30 Sept - 27 Oct
Woodpecker
A tough, hard-working character with plenty of stamina. Has no problem drumming up support for their ideas, no matter how wacky they seem. With a lateral-thinking mind they are skilled at dissecting problems and seeing the wood for the trees. However, with their noisy and exuberant lifestyle, you might not want to have one as a neighbour.
28 Oct - 24 Nov
Kestrel
A sharp brain helps kestrel people hover from one subject to another without losing concentration. They focus on their life's goal with a single-minded focus, not flustered by what is going on around them. A confidence in their own ability helps them to soar to heights others may only dream of.
25 Nov - 23 Dec
Raven
Always impressive, raven people are a tower of strength. They are more intelligent than their peers and are adept problem-solvers. They enjoy challenges are stimulated by wild and exposed places.
24 Dec - 20 Jan
Heron
Heron people are deceptive. Although they may be solitary individuals for much of the time, they nevertheless have a need to settle in busy communities where they know everyone else. They may get bogged down as they wade the course of life, but have broad enough shoulders to cope with weighty issues. But their insecure nature often leads them to fish for compliments.
________________________
We have delved into ancient mythology and Celtic history to come up with personality traits of different birds, which can be compared with people.
21 Jan - 17 Feb
Robin
A cool exterior disguises a fiery temper and is very opinionated - although those opinions are not always shared by everyone. They are proud and particularly home-loving, although have a tendency to be quarrelsome.
18 Feb - 17 March
Goldfinch
Goldfinch people are colourful characters who are sensitive and always alert. They are gregarious by nature and love being in groups of people, which offers them security. They need to find an outlet for their imaginative abilities or they are sometimes be in danger of becoming nervous and irritable.
18 March - 14 April
Hawk
A powerful individual which displays courage and a sometimes ruthless determination. Avoids problematical obstacles with skill, although must be fully targeted so as not to waste energy in fruitless chases for the impossible.
15 April - 12 May
Albatross
Has a tendency to have a mind that wanders, but when in search of a particular goal, will travel great lengths to achieve it. Occasionally, the albatross may become caught up in things it shouldn't when not seeing clearly enough.
13 May - 9 June
Dove
Peace-loving by nature, doves will bill and coo about things close to their heart. They enjoy a fulfilling love-life and rarely fail to satisfy. They are also patient, adaptable and personable. Their lack of aggression sometimes makes them the victim of more predatory characters.
10 June- 7 July
Eagle
A well-respected figure which has excellent visionary qualities. Eagles will truck no nonsense and will fix opponents with a powerful stare. They have the power to rise above the trivial aspects of humanity, and are highly talon-ted.
8 July- 4 August
Nightingale
More often heard before being seen, nightingales always have something to say for themselves. They are however very much in tune with their partners. Their unimpressive exterior hides a personality that is just waiting to burst out.
5 August - 1 Sept
Kingfisher
Another flamboyant and colourful character that is always exciting to encounter. They rush around at great speed and have a close spiritual affinity with water. They have a sharp and perceptive head on them, but can make them impetuous enough to dive in where others would fear to go.
2 Sept - 29 Sept
Swan (ME!)
The swan is a complex character. While appearing on the surface as a calm and relaxed individual, underneath they are working hard to keep up with the pace of modern life. If provoked their natural graceful demeanour can give way to a violent temper which puts them in a flap. They are definitely someone to have on your side.
30 Sept - 27 Oct
Woodpecker
A tough, hard-working character with plenty of stamina. Has no problem drumming up support for their ideas, no matter how wacky they seem. With a lateral-thinking mind they are skilled at dissecting problems and seeing the wood for the trees. However, with their noisy and exuberant lifestyle, you might not want to have one as a neighbour.
28 Oct - 24 Nov
Kestrel
A sharp brain helps kestrel people hover from one subject to another without losing concentration. They focus on their life's goal with a single-minded focus, not flustered by what is going on around them. A confidence in their own ability helps them to soar to heights others may only dream of.
25 Nov - 23 Dec
Raven
Always impressive, raven people are a tower of strength. They are more intelligent than their peers and are adept problem-solvers. They enjoy challenges are stimulated by wild and exposed places.
24 Dec - 20 Jan
Heron
Heron people are deceptive. Although they may be solitary individuals for much of the time, they nevertheless have a need to settle in busy communities where they know everyone else. They may get bogged down as they wade the course of life, but have broad enough shoulders to cope with weighty issues. But their insecure nature often leads them to fish for compliments.
I'm that girl
I'm the one who wears many masks.
I'm the girl who believes in love, yet is cynical of it. I'm the girl who fell in love with you, knowing you'll break my heart, but I went ahead and loved you anyway. I'm the girl who waited patiently for you for three whole years, and now, only exchange the ocassional 'hello' with you.
I'm the girl who boasted to you about how I've never turned away from a horror movie but covers my eyes during a scary ghost scene anyway. I'm the girl who hates the color pink, but adores the shade of the night, black. I'm the one who agreed with you that the pink lacy dress is the most fantastic piece ever.
I'm the girl who cried herself to sleep so many lonely nights. I'm the girl who believed herself to be all alone in this world. I'm the one who sat in the bathroom, a razor in one hand, and blood flowing from the other wrist. I'm the girl who stood at the top of a hdb flat once, and looked down, wondering what it'll be like to fly away from this world. I'm the girl you got drunk with.
I'm the one who hugged you and told you that everything's gonna be alright. I'm the girl who advised you to always press on. I'm the girl who wallowed in depression.
I'm the girl who stood tall and proud as I hosted our graduation dinner. I'm the girl whose hand you held as you looked into my eyes, and told me just how beautiful I am.
I'm the girl with a dozen Tom Clancy novels. I'm the girl who announced you as the beauty pagneant queen.
I'm the one who borrowed your physics textbook on the pretence of forgetting to bring mine so I could hug it and breathe in your scent. I'm the one whose heart you broke, again and again and again.
I'm the girl who thinks the best breakfast is two half-boiled eggs, kaya toast, and a cup of kopi-o. I'm the girl who blew a hole in her wallet because she wanted to pig out with you over sashimi.
I'm the girl who thought that as long as you gave men sex, you'll get their love. I'm the girl who realised life is not a bed of roses. I'm the girl you bumped into outside the women's clinic. I'm the one the government tells you is paying for her silly mistakes with an abortion.
I'm the one you saw looking with longing at the little cutesy clothes in the baby department. I'm the one you walked by, without so much as a glance.
I'm the girl who wonders if she'll ever hear the words 'I love you' spoken to her with sincerity. I'm the girl you have a hundred-dollar bet with, over who'll marry last; your money is mine. I'm the girl who squeezed with you on the seat of the double-decked bus, enjoying the feel of your arm against mine, for the entire trip from one end of the country to the other end.
I'm the girl you saw shaking her bum up on the bar-top. I'm the girl you exchanged a smile with. I'm the girl whose hand you held as we walked into the seedy bangkok club. I'm the one who rushed to buy Taufik's cd once it was released.
Yeah, I am that girl. Who are you?
________
http://somethingstickythiswaycomes.blogspot.com/2005/09/who-we-are.html
I was so inspired by this thing created by mercermachine.... you can do it too...
Thanks mate, for coming up with something this theraputic.
I'm the girl who believes in love, yet is cynical of it. I'm the girl who fell in love with you, knowing you'll break my heart, but I went ahead and loved you anyway. I'm the girl who waited patiently for you for three whole years, and now, only exchange the ocassional 'hello' with you.
I'm the girl who boasted to you about how I've never turned away from a horror movie but covers my eyes during a scary ghost scene anyway. I'm the girl who hates the color pink, but adores the shade of the night, black. I'm the one who agreed with you that the pink lacy dress is the most fantastic piece ever.
I'm the girl who cried herself to sleep so many lonely nights. I'm the girl who believed herself to be all alone in this world. I'm the one who sat in the bathroom, a razor in one hand, and blood flowing from the other wrist. I'm the girl who stood at the top of a hdb flat once, and looked down, wondering what it'll be like to fly away from this world. I'm the girl you got drunk with.
I'm the one who hugged you and told you that everything's gonna be alright. I'm the girl who advised you to always press on. I'm the girl who wallowed in depression.
I'm the girl who stood tall and proud as I hosted our graduation dinner. I'm the girl whose hand you held as you looked into my eyes, and told me just how beautiful I am.
I'm the girl with a dozen Tom Clancy novels. I'm the girl who announced you as the beauty pagneant queen.
I'm the one who borrowed your physics textbook on the pretence of forgetting to bring mine so I could hug it and breathe in your scent. I'm the one whose heart you broke, again and again and again.
I'm the girl who thinks the best breakfast is two half-boiled eggs, kaya toast, and a cup of kopi-o. I'm the girl who blew a hole in her wallet because she wanted to pig out with you over sashimi.
I'm the girl who thought that as long as you gave men sex, you'll get their love. I'm the girl who realised life is not a bed of roses. I'm the girl you bumped into outside the women's clinic. I'm the one the government tells you is paying for her silly mistakes with an abortion.
I'm the one you saw looking with longing at the little cutesy clothes in the baby department. I'm the one you walked by, without so much as a glance.
I'm the girl who wonders if she'll ever hear the words 'I love you' spoken to her with sincerity. I'm the girl you have a hundred-dollar bet with, over who'll marry last; your money is mine. I'm the girl who squeezed with you on the seat of the double-decked bus, enjoying the feel of your arm against mine, for the entire trip from one end of the country to the other end.
I'm the girl you saw shaking her bum up on the bar-top. I'm the girl you exchanged a smile with. I'm the girl whose hand you held as we walked into the seedy bangkok club. I'm the one who rushed to buy Taufik's cd once it was released.
Yeah, I am that girl. Who are you?
________
http://somethingstickythiswaycomes.blogspot.com/2005/09/who-we-are.html
I was so inspired by this thing created by mercermachine.... you can do it too...
Thanks mate, for coming up with something this theraputic.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
I wonder why I never did anything about it... it was so obvious, the signs were all there, laid right before my eyes. Yet somehow, I ignored them. I could have stopped things right there and then, but because I was so reluctant to make a move, now, I can only shake my head in despair.
I have put on too much weight.
No, I am not one of those skinny model types who start contemplating suicide upon discovering that they have put on one gram of fat. Fat IS fat.
My skirt used to hang on my waist; now, it's up along my belly button.
I guess I was always aware that I had put on extra weight... I just somehow couldn't drag myself out of bed in the morning to hit the gym. I figured, geez, it's just some extra weight... as long as I dun look like Lydia Sum, who cares, right?
But now... I am starting to despair. I am getting upset about the extra baggage I am carrying. What's worst, I'm losing a little of my self-confidence. I avoid my sleeveless tops, halter tops... anything that shows too much skin, coz well, too much skin = too much fat. I used to enjoy wearing sleeveless tops coz one, Sg's weather is torturous, two, it's very comfortable, and lastly, I knew I looked good, especially when I bent down. Now, I'm opting once agin for my long-sleeved tops.
It hit me last night... I was at a birthday party and the girls there were all mainly of the stick-thin variety, in very short shorts/skirts and pieces of cloth passed off for tops. And there I was, feeling like a lump of fat, wishing a hole could just appear and swallow me up, saving me from further embarrassment.
I continued moping around when I got home... and then I realised, geez, girl, you're being so pathetic. Whatever happened to all that confidence, courage to strut around and hopefully, cause guys nosebleeds?
I will start hitting the gym again, starting from tomorrow morning; call that a birthday resolution. I am not going to do it coz I saw a nice top the other day and wished I could fit into it, I'm not doing it coz He patted my thighs the other night and commented that I could use some work on that.... I need to realise... I'm doing it for me... I refuse to go back to the days when I lacked in self-esteen, preferring to hide under layers of cloth. I wanna be all confident again... wear short skirts without feeling like a cow, coz I had been so worried last weekend about wearing a short skirt out with Him - I kept thinking of my fat thighs and how I'll look like a totaly pig beside Him... and feeling depressed about it, I stuffed my face with food... lol, what a vicious cycle.
I'm tired of being a lump of fat.
I will go to the gym tomorrow... and I will force myself to wear a nice top when I meet friends for dinner later in the evening.
I've got to.
I have put on too much weight.
No, I am not one of those skinny model types who start contemplating suicide upon discovering that they have put on one gram of fat. Fat IS fat.
My skirt used to hang on my waist; now, it's up along my belly button.
I guess I was always aware that I had put on extra weight... I just somehow couldn't drag myself out of bed in the morning to hit the gym. I figured, geez, it's just some extra weight... as long as I dun look like Lydia Sum, who cares, right?
But now... I am starting to despair. I am getting upset about the extra baggage I am carrying. What's worst, I'm losing a little of my self-confidence. I avoid my sleeveless tops, halter tops... anything that shows too much skin, coz well, too much skin = too much fat. I used to enjoy wearing sleeveless tops coz one, Sg's weather is torturous, two, it's very comfortable, and lastly, I knew I looked good, especially when I bent down. Now, I'm opting once agin for my long-sleeved tops.
It hit me last night... I was at a birthday party and the girls there were all mainly of the stick-thin variety, in very short shorts/skirts and pieces of cloth passed off for tops. And there I was, feeling like a lump of fat, wishing a hole could just appear and swallow me up, saving me from further embarrassment.
I continued moping around when I got home... and then I realised, geez, girl, you're being so pathetic. Whatever happened to all that confidence, courage to strut around and hopefully, cause guys nosebleeds?
I will start hitting the gym again, starting from tomorrow morning; call that a birthday resolution. I am not going to do it coz I saw a nice top the other day and wished I could fit into it, I'm not doing it coz He patted my thighs the other night and commented that I could use some work on that.... I need to realise... I'm doing it for me... I refuse to go back to the days when I lacked in self-esteen, preferring to hide under layers of cloth. I wanna be all confident again... wear short skirts without feeling like a cow, coz I had been so worried last weekend about wearing a short skirt out with Him - I kept thinking of my fat thighs and how I'll look like a totaly pig beside Him... and feeling depressed about it, I stuffed my face with food... lol, what a vicious cycle.
I'm tired of being a lump of fat.
I will go to the gym tomorrow... and I will force myself to wear a nice top when I meet friends for dinner later in the evening.
I've got to.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Fuck off if you're expecting an intelligent blog... I'm in no mood to humor ppl
Coz this is MY space, and as long as I don't say too many bad things about our government, talk about religion and race, I am ok.
I need to pamper myself...
The past couple of days were really hectic... took a lot of my brain-energy.. and I just received some shitty news today... I hate people who look down on my father and try to screw him upside down... all these kind of people, I will hang by the balls, pluck off their pubic hair one by one, cut their dicks and nipples off, and leave them to bleed to death.
I do have moments when I'm angry with my parents etc... but at the end of the day I love them a lot... and I really really really hate people who do bad mean things to my parents....
Sigh.
I really do hate people who are the cause of my dad having difficulty sleeping at night coz he's all worried, frustrated etc... do you know how heart-breaking it feels to see your parents all worried and stuff???
And my stupid brother won't wake up his ideas and buck up.. oh nooo... after numerous talks etc... he refuses to listen, goes and screws up his schoolwork, and give my parents one more thing to be worried about.
I've a good mind to go bang his head against the wall.. maybe that'll wake him up.
So much for a wonderful 22nd birthday...
My birthday is this Monday... and I'm thinking, geez... WHAT birthday... what the fuck is there to be all happy about?
Yes, as you might have guessed by now... I've been feeling stressed out, and when you combine that with pms, you get an extra cynical sgfairy.
Do you know that when I was younger, I used to pen poetry? And most of my poetry were like, really dark and gloomy, talking about death, pain, suffering.. the usual depressive stuff.
I do have my dark side... one not many know about... some know about it... but have never seen me in it...
The side that looks at newborn babies in the hospital and goes, "Why were the parents so cruel as to bring this baby into the harsh world?"
Ya, that cynical.
Being in one of those moods... I'm thinking.. what have I got to show for 22 years of existence? Really, WHAT???
I just realised... I can be very mean towards myself sometimes...
Torture myself...
I suppose... I have a lot to show... I'll like to think that at my funeral, I'll have lots and lots of people coming... not coz they wanna make sure I'm dead, but because they are truly sad that I'm not with them anymore on earth, and they wanna mourn my passing, as well as celebrate my life, exchange stories with one another about the many ways I touched their hearts...
I hope so.
If I had the money... I'll go out on a shopping spree... I'll buy all the things I wanna buy... and I've always wanted to go eat at that brazillian place where they serve lots of meat...
I've got one tattoo design that's been kiv-ed, pending approval.. lol... but there's ths one other tattoo I wanna do, for myself... if I get the green light for it... I wanna do that too...
I desperately need at least 1 pair of open heels... a new hp.. someone to pay my hp bill for this month... 1-2 bras... make-up foundation...
And those are just the essentials, coz I'm only suriving on one pair of heels now, my hp is unsteady, starhub just sent me a gentle reminder, my bras are old and not providing the support I need, and I do need the support to keep my breasts in shape and prevent backache, and my make-up is running out...
We haven't even got to the luxury stuff I would like...
But... haha... I think it was money really really well-spent the last weekend...
Sigh... it was lovely...
I shall spend my birthday in bed... I dun bloody care... I'll hide in bed....
I hate birthdays... somehow, they remind me what a screwed-up youth I was...
I need to pamper myself...
The past couple of days were really hectic... took a lot of my brain-energy.. and I just received some shitty news today... I hate people who look down on my father and try to screw him upside down... all these kind of people, I will hang by the balls, pluck off their pubic hair one by one, cut their dicks and nipples off, and leave them to bleed to death.
I do have moments when I'm angry with my parents etc... but at the end of the day I love them a lot... and I really really really hate people who do bad mean things to my parents....
Sigh.
I really do hate people who are the cause of my dad having difficulty sleeping at night coz he's all worried, frustrated etc... do you know how heart-breaking it feels to see your parents all worried and stuff???
And my stupid brother won't wake up his ideas and buck up.. oh nooo... after numerous talks etc... he refuses to listen, goes and screws up his schoolwork, and give my parents one more thing to be worried about.
I've a good mind to go bang his head against the wall.. maybe that'll wake him up.
So much for a wonderful 22nd birthday...
My birthday is this Monday... and I'm thinking, geez... WHAT birthday... what the fuck is there to be all happy about?
Yes, as you might have guessed by now... I've been feeling stressed out, and when you combine that with pms, you get an extra cynical sgfairy.
Do you know that when I was younger, I used to pen poetry? And most of my poetry were like, really dark and gloomy, talking about death, pain, suffering.. the usual depressive stuff.
I do have my dark side... one not many know about... some know about it... but have never seen me in it...
The side that looks at newborn babies in the hospital and goes, "Why were the parents so cruel as to bring this baby into the harsh world?"
Ya, that cynical.
Being in one of those moods... I'm thinking.. what have I got to show for 22 years of existence? Really, WHAT???
I just realised... I can be very mean towards myself sometimes...
Torture myself...
I suppose... I have a lot to show... I'll like to think that at my funeral, I'll have lots and lots of people coming... not coz they wanna make sure I'm dead, but because they are truly sad that I'm not with them anymore on earth, and they wanna mourn my passing, as well as celebrate my life, exchange stories with one another about the many ways I touched their hearts...
I hope so.
If I had the money... I'll go out on a shopping spree... I'll buy all the things I wanna buy... and I've always wanted to go eat at that brazillian place where they serve lots of meat...
I've got one tattoo design that's been kiv-ed, pending approval.. lol... but there's ths one other tattoo I wanna do, for myself... if I get the green light for it... I wanna do that too...
I desperately need at least 1 pair of open heels... a new hp.. someone to pay my hp bill for this month... 1-2 bras... make-up foundation...
And those are just the essentials, coz I'm only suriving on one pair of heels now, my hp is unsteady, starhub just sent me a gentle reminder, my bras are old and not providing the support I need, and I do need the support to keep my breasts in shape and prevent backache, and my make-up is running out...
We haven't even got to the luxury stuff I would like...
But... haha... I think it was money really really well-spent the last weekend...
Sigh... it was lovely...
I shall spend my birthday in bed... I dun bloody care... I'll hide in bed....
I hate birthdays... somehow, they remind me what a screwed-up youth I was...
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Singapore is a multi-racial society. We're not just talking about Chinese, Malays, and Indians here. In the 'Others' racial catergory, you have the Eurasians, Peranakans, and lets' not forget the many foreign guests we host here. So yes of course we have to be respectful towards every single race... we cannot tolerate racism - it is destructive.
I do not know the exact contents, but I suspect that those made by the two bloggers who got charged over the racist remarks must have really gone overboard; TalkingCock.com never got charged for the racial jokes on their site because we, being the intelligent beings that we are, know the difference between being light-hearted individuals who know how to take a dig at ourselves, and being totally insulting.
I am very against racism. So you can imagine how disturbed I was when I read on the front page of the Today newspaper about the issue.
I was even more disturbed to read about how people kept going on and on about how bloggers have to be more sensitive and cautious about what they post.... the article's subtitle was '... Other netizens MAY watch their words'.
Isn't it a given, that you shouldn't post up racist posts? Why do you have to stop, and think a minute, "Should I type in these racist remarks?" Regardless of whether you know the law or not, racism should never be entertained, and that's that. You shouldn't be stopping yourself from posting up racist remarks just coz the law says so; it should be coz you know, racism is wrong.
"Meanwhile, the case is likely to have a temporary "chilling effect" on the Internet community..." - Today article.
The issue is not about how, oh, the Law inhibits blogger and makes bloggers more cautious.... we shouldn't be anti-racist just because the Law is against racism.
Instead of saying that oh, these guys, tsk tsk for being racist... the media has to, as usual, come up with the whole jazz about the blogging community being all scared and frightened now coz the Law is being wielded. As the media, they should have been more responsible, educating the public about racism and its evills. I know the media's latest craze is publishing articles about blog-related topics but this time, they're really lost the main issue here; racism.
So now people are going to be more focussed on bloggers, than the issue of racism.
I can just imagine it:
"Wah, bloggers got charged leh!"
"Wah, like that means we cannot anyhow blog liao lor!"
"Waliao, like that very sian leh... whatever we blog got 'mata' watching!'
HELLO AH.... for goodness' sake, it's not a matter of, must be careful about what you blog.... it's about how racism exists in Singapore.
So are you saying, "oh it's ok to be racist, just make sure you dun blog those thoughts down coz the Internet is public space and police can catch you"???????
It's not a matter of, watch your words... it's a matter of, get racism out of your heart and mind, period.
Get it?
I do not know the exact contents, but I suspect that those made by the two bloggers who got charged over the racist remarks must have really gone overboard; TalkingCock.com never got charged for the racial jokes on their site because we, being the intelligent beings that we are, know the difference between being light-hearted individuals who know how to take a dig at ourselves, and being totally insulting.
I am very against racism. So you can imagine how disturbed I was when I read on the front page of the Today newspaper about the issue.
I was even more disturbed to read about how people kept going on and on about how bloggers have to be more sensitive and cautious about what they post.... the article's subtitle was '... Other netizens MAY watch their words'.
Isn't it a given, that you shouldn't post up racist posts? Why do you have to stop, and think a minute, "Should I type in these racist remarks?" Regardless of whether you know the law or not, racism should never be entertained, and that's that. You shouldn't be stopping yourself from posting up racist remarks just coz the law says so; it should be coz you know, racism is wrong.
"Meanwhile, the case is likely to have a temporary "chilling effect" on the Internet community..." - Today article.
The issue is not about how, oh, the Law inhibits blogger and makes bloggers more cautious.... we shouldn't be anti-racist just because the Law is against racism.
Instead of saying that oh, these guys, tsk tsk for being racist... the media has to, as usual, come up with the whole jazz about the blogging community being all scared and frightened now coz the Law is being wielded. As the media, they should have been more responsible, educating the public about racism and its evills. I know the media's latest craze is publishing articles about blog-related topics but this time, they're really lost the main issue here; racism.
So now people are going to be more focussed on bloggers, than the issue of racism.
I can just imagine it:
"Wah, bloggers got charged leh!"
"Wah, like that means we cannot anyhow blog liao lor!"
"Waliao, like that very sian leh... whatever we blog got 'mata' watching!'
HELLO AH.... for goodness' sake, it's not a matter of, must be careful about what you blog.... it's about how racism exists in Singapore.
So are you saying, "oh it's ok to be racist, just make sure you dun blog those thoughts down coz the Internet is public space and police can catch you"???????
It's not a matter of, watch your words... it's a matter of, get racism out of your heart and mind, period.
Get it?
Saturday, September 10, 2005
What I did today:
You know how some bloggers blog the day's events.... they'll tell you about how they brushed their teeth when they got up, what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner... how they stepped up the bus to go home etc...
I thought I'll try that out..
NOT!
I'm not that boliao lah... but I did have quite an eventful day.
The interview was okay... but I dun really wanna talk about it... I think the rest of my evening was more interesting.
I got to see CSI in real life! Lol... You know the park portion just next to Orchard MRT station? There was police tape everywhere... and the whole CSI-type team... I think it was a murder... they put up a screen to shield the body from public eye... from what I could se, I think a bunch of cleaners discovered the body since the police was interviewing them. I thought, gosh, a murder in safe Singapore in broad daylight?!?!?!
As usual you had the crowds gathering around... I didn't see anyone writing any numbers though. A bunch of cops, I think it was the riot police or something, got called me, for crowd-control I guess.
I think.... I was a little sad, coz someone had died. But on the whole, I was kinda apathetic, which frightened me. I had wanted to snap some pics to post up, but I felt that'll be disrespectful.
The reporters were all there so I guess I'll be able to get the whole story... saw a policewoman briefing reporters with their notepads in their hand, pen posied in the air ready to jot stuff down; I know it is their job, but they did look like a bunch of vultures. lol.
I went to watch The Maid with Eunice... we were so pathetic lah! Eunice was like, covering her entire face whenever the scary music, which acts like a cue that something scary's about to happen, came up. She was peeking through her fingers. I was a little more subtle about it. I just covered the sides of my face with my fringe, and closed my eyes; there were times when I was braver, and I'll peek out a bit so I can see the bottom bit of the screen... good right? Ya, I know.
On the whole, I wun rate it a 5-star movie... but I dun think I wasted money on it either. Lol, I enjoy scaring myself every now and then... and I think Asian horror movies are the best. What I liked best about The Maid was the plot twist at the end... kinda unexpected. Next up... wanna watch the Eric Khoo movie... lol, got lesbian scene, so kinky :P Ya right!
Anyway, after dinner... Eunice insisted on gorging... so we went to this Jap place for dinner. That girl ah, went to order an entire platter of sashimi.. so greedy right? There were so many pieces of sashimi of different variety that she couldn't finish them, so she ended up begging me to help her with it. What to do? As her friend, I had to help out... So I ate a whole bunch of sashimi, and a couple of plates of sushi.. totally stuffed out, man.
Now, after 1 Hot & Dirty martini (that's the name of the drink!), 1 Fruiti something ( a martini of some sort I think), 1 volka cranberry, at No. 5 Emerald Hill... I had the following conversation with the bartender:
Me: Could I have sex on the beach, please?
Bartender: That'll be $10 you know.
Me: Yup, sounds good, I'll have one.
Bartender: Coming up right!
Not bad leh... for $10, you get 2 sex on the beach shooters... and we all know what a sucker I am for shooters. It tasted like cough mixture, only much sweeter.
And I'm never going to have martinis again... dun like!
So on the whole.. had a lovely evening... great company... good food and drinks...
Now I'm just wondering why I had to go watch a ghost movie when I'll be spending the night alone in a hotel room tomorrow...
I thought I'll try that out..
NOT!
I'm not that boliao lah... but I did have quite an eventful day.
The interview was okay... but I dun really wanna talk about it... I think the rest of my evening was more interesting.
I got to see CSI in real life! Lol... You know the park portion just next to Orchard MRT station? There was police tape everywhere... and the whole CSI-type team... I think it was a murder... they put up a screen to shield the body from public eye... from what I could se, I think a bunch of cleaners discovered the body since the police was interviewing them. I thought, gosh, a murder in safe Singapore in broad daylight?!?!?!
As usual you had the crowds gathering around... I didn't see anyone writing any numbers though. A bunch of cops, I think it was the riot police or something, got called me, for crowd-control I guess.
I think.... I was a little sad, coz someone had died. But on the whole, I was kinda apathetic, which frightened me. I had wanted to snap some pics to post up, but I felt that'll be disrespectful.
The reporters were all there so I guess I'll be able to get the whole story... saw a policewoman briefing reporters with their notepads in their hand, pen posied in the air ready to jot stuff down; I know it is their job, but they did look like a bunch of vultures. lol.
I went to watch The Maid with Eunice... we were so pathetic lah! Eunice was like, covering her entire face whenever the scary music, which acts like a cue that something scary's about to happen, came up. She was peeking through her fingers. I was a little more subtle about it. I just covered the sides of my face with my fringe, and closed my eyes; there were times when I was braver, and I'll peek out a bit so I can see the bottom bit of the screen... good right? Ya, I know.
On the whole, I wun rate it a 5-star movie... but I dun think I wasted money on it either. Lol, I enjoy scaring myself every now and then... and I think Asian horror movies are the best. What I liked best about The Maid was the plot twist at the end... kinda unexpected. Next up... wanna watch the Eric Khoo movie... lol, got lesbian scene, so kinky :P Ya right!
Anyway, after dinner... Eunice insisted on gorging... so we went to this Jap place for dinner. That girl ah, went to order an entire platter of sashimi.. so greedy right? There were so many pieces of sashimi of different variety that she couldn't finish them, so she ended up begging me to help her with it. What to do? As her friend, I had to help out... So I ate a whole bunch of sashimi, and a couple of plates of sushi.. totally stuffed out, man.
Now, after 1 Hot & Dirty martini (that's the name of the drink!), 1 Fruiti something ( a martini of some sort I think), 1 volka cranberry, at No. 5 Emerald Hill... I had the following conversation with the bartender:
Me: Could I have sex on the beach, please?
Bartender: That'll be $10 you know.
Me: Yup, sounds good, I'll have one.
Bartender: Coming up right!
Not bad leh... for $10, you get 2 sex on the beach shooters... and we all know what a sucker I am for shooters. It tasted like cough mixture, only much sweeter.
And I'm never going to have martinis again... dun like!
So on the whole.. had a lovely evening... great company... good food and drinks...
Now I'm just wondering why I had to go watch a ghost movie when I'll be spending the night alone in a hotel room tomorrow...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Employment woes...
So I dun really like the new department I have been transferred to.... I am really, so alone... I have to tip-toe to the various more experienced colleagues to ask them questios and it's kinda embarrassing coz they have their own shit to settle too, so it's not really nice to have to keep going to them.
Yesteday, I wanted to cry lor.... sitting in a cubicle, surrounded by files, and really really not having a clue on what you're supposed to do. And you cannot make the slightest mistake, given the sort of stuff we're dealing with.
So I called Him.
Yes, I have my weak moments.
I just really needed someone very familiar to me to talk to.
I do like the people at the work place... have made some lovely friends... but I still hate the job... I wanna go back to my old department.
The old department was difficult work, but at least I never felt such despair, that lost.
Which then makes me wonder... maybe I'm just lousy with the new jobscope... lousy employee, period.
And now there's this potential job coming up. Ok, so it's not 100% what I wanna do, but at least it's 50%. With this current job that I'm in, I wasn't even 1% interested - I did it just for the money.
I just wish the interviewers would just quickly confirm with me whether they want me or not. Coz firstly, I cannot be taking too many off-days, as much as I'll like to, lol (the boss might just decide to fire me, something I do not mind; but it feels better to go up to him, and tell him, "I quit!" hehe) Secondly, I feel like I'm hanging in mid-air, directionless.
Going to the potentials' office tml... to meet the other employees etc.. in a way, that's quite good, lets you know beforehand whether or not you'll be entering shit.
So far, it's like, the lady I've been liaisoning with has been getting back to me almost immediately, so at least they're not the sort of company that takes a month to make a decision.
But still, it'll be good to know by next Monday or Tuesday.
In the meanwhile, considering how I really am not feeling so good now... I'll tell current employers I am sick... that'll just be like, a half-lie, not so bad, right? That'll allow me to go for the interview tml; I can't possibly demand leave coz "Oh, I'm going for a job interview, okay?" And being 'sick'... it's excusable if I cannot go to work next Monday. Anyway, I had already intended not to go to work on Monday since I need to go settle an important financial matter (sound so stylo right? it's more of a heart-ache/wallet-ache sort of thing).
Sigh... God... please guide me with this job situation... open and close the right doors... though it'll be very nice if you can help me open the doors to this new potential employer.
Yesteday, I wanted to cry lor.... sitting in a cubicle, surrounded by files, and really really not having a clue on what you're supposed to do. And you cannot make the slightest mistake, given the sort of stuff we're dealing with.
So I called Him.
Yes, I have my weak moments.
I just really needed someone very familiar to me to talk to.
I do like the people at the work place... have made some lovely friends... but I still hate the job... I wanna go back to my old department.
The old department was difficult work, but at least I never felt such despair, that lost.
Which then makes me wonder... maybe I'm just lousy with the new jobscope... lousy employee, period.
And now there's this potential job coming up. Ok, so it's not 100% what I wanna do, but at least it's 50%. With this current job that I'm in, I wasn't even 1% interested - I did it just for the money.
I just wish the interviewers would just quickly confirm with me whether they want me or not. Coz firstly, I cannot be taking too many off-days, as much as I'll like to, lol (the boss might just decide to fire me, something I do not mind; but it feels better to go up to him, and tell him, "I quit!" hehe) Secondly, I feel like I'm hanging in mid-air, directionless.
Going to the potentials' office tml... to meet the other employees etc.. in a way, that's quite good, lets you know beforehand whether or not you'll be entering shit.
So far, it's like, the lady I've been liaisoning with has been getting back to me almost immediately, so at least they're not the sort of company that takes a month to make a decision.
But still, it'll be good to know by next Monday or Tuesday.
In the meanwhile, considering how I really am not feeling so good now... I'll tell current employers I am sick... that'll just be like, a half-lie, not so bad, right? That'll allow me to go for the interview tml; I can't possibly demand leave coz "Oh, I'm going for a job interview, okay?" And being 'sick'... it's excusable if I cannot go to work next Monday. Anyway, I had already intended not to go to work on Monday since I need to go settle an important financial matter (sound so stylo right? it's more of a heart-ache/wallet-ache sort of thing).
Sigh... God... please guide me with this job situation... open and close the right doors... though it'll be very nice if you can help me open the doors to this new potential employer.
Worth a listen...
Click on this link:
http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/us/2005/09/02/sot.nagin.conditions.affl
New Orleans Mayor's radio interview.....
Sigh...
Please people, remember.... while you are sitting so comfortably in front of your computer now, all nice and dry, there are people just like you and me, with family and friends, a LIFE... struggling to make it through each day, or simply, DYING.
It's one thing to know, oh, there are people suffering now.... but you really need a couple of minutes, to sit down, and really think about it, before it really hits you, that yes, truly, there are so many people suffering out there.
http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/us/2005/09/02/sot.nagin.conditions.affl
New Orleans Mayor's radio interview.....
Sigh...
Please people, remember.... while you are sitting so comfortably in front of your computer now, all nice and dry, there are people just like you and me, with family and friends, a LIFE... struggling to make it through each day, or simply, DYING.
It's one thing to know, oh, there are people suffering now.... but you really need a couple of minutes, to sit down, and really think about it, before it really hits you, that yes, truly, there are so many people suffering out there.
Monday, September 05, 2005
" Chertoff echoed the White House line -- saying the time to place blame will come later. But he also hinted at an emerging line of defense, saying federal officials had problems getting information from local officials and were surprised they hadn't been told by Thursday of the violence and horrible conditions at the New Orleans convention center.
"I got to tell you that hearing reports on TV and then calling the field and hearing something different is not what the secretary of Homeland Security wants to see happening," he said on "Fox News Sunday."
Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-Louisiana, lashed back, saying she won't tolerate federal officials' denigrating local efforts to deal with the catastrophe.
"If one person criticizes them or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me," she said on the ABC's "This Week." "One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch him. Literally." "
Go to: http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/05/katrina.bush.ap/index.html for the rest of the story.
For fuck's sake... people are DYING out there... and you're busy trying to play taiji???
You know, it's almost like as though they dun fucking care about the many lives out there... I mean, seriously, I don't sense any love or real concern.
That's it. That's what I've been so troubled about.. what seems like a lack of genuine concern for their fellow-countrymen.
George Bush is not spending all his time on the hurricane. Instead, he's busy nominating John Roberts for the post of Chief Justice. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/05/roberts.nomination/index.html)
Any person who is able to think logically would figure, ok, this hurricane is a NATIONAL disaster, not just some state thing. You would have thought that after all the bad publicity, the Pres. would go spend his time hugging the surviors or something, even if he hated doing that. Getting someone to fill the position of Chief Justice is not as important as the whole humanitarian thing. But obviously Bush doesn't know his priorities - he's not a People's President.
I mean, if he was off on a meeting to handle the oil issue, fine, you could say that this is something which would really affect every single person.
But nominating someone????
Oh, by the way... while Bush cancelled his meeting with Chinese President Hu, Blair was getting all cosy with the Chinese.
(http://www.afp.com/english/news/stories/050905121511.7bt3xtbz.html)
Anyways...
I think this is one way to look at the way the Bush Administration is handling the hurricane situation:
" (Celine) Dion also slammed authorities for arresting looters in the city that became a hellish haven of crime and violence after the storm laid waste to its infrastructure and services, saying rescue should be the only priority.
"How come it's so easy to send planes in another country to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives?" Dion said in an angry reference to the US-led war in Iraq. "
http://www.afp.com/english/news/stories/050905060806.gb5jo658.html
Maybe they are not like that, but the Bush Administration seems bent on creating the impression to the world, and its own countrymen, that they prefer killing, to saving people.
"I got to tell you that hearing reports on TV and then calling the field and hearing something different is not what the secretary of Homeland Security wants to see happening," he said on "Fox News Sunday."
Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-Louisiana, lashed back, saying she won't tolerate federal officials' denigrating local efforts to deal with the catastrophe.
"If one person criticizes them or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me," she said on the ABC's "This Week." "One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch him. Literally." "
Go to: http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/05/katrina.bush.ap/index.html for the rest of the story.
For fuck's sake... people are DYING out there... and you're busy trying to play taiji???
You know, it's almost like as though they dun fucking care about the many lives out there... I mean, seriously, I don't sense any love or real concern.
That's it. That's what I've been so troubled about.. what seems like a lack of genuine concern for their fellow-countrymen.
George Bush is not spending all his time on the hurricane. Instead, he's busy nominating John Roberts for the post of Chief Justice. (http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/09/05/roberts.nomination/index.html)
Any person who is able to think logically would figure, ok, this hurricane is a NATIONAL disaster, not just some state thing. You would have thought that after all the bad publicity, the Pres. would go spend his time hugging the surviors or something, even if he hated doing that. Getting someone to fill the position of Chief Justice is not as important as the whole humanitarian thing. But obviously Bush doesn't know his priorities - he's not a People's President.
I mean, if he was off on a meeting to handle the oil issue, fine, you could say that this is something which would really affect every single person.
But nominating someone????
Oh, by the way... while Bush cancelled his meeting with Chinese President Hu, Blair was getting all cosy with the Chinese.
(http://www.afp.com/english/news/stories/050905121511.7bt3xtbz.html)
Anyways...
I think this is one way to look at the way the Bush Administration is handling the hurricane situation:
" (Celine) Dion also slammed authorities for arresting looters in the city that became a hellish haven of crime and violence after the storm laid waste to its infrastructure and services, saying rescue should be the only priority.
"How come it's so easy to send planes in another country to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives?" Dion said in an angry reference to the US-led war in Iraq. "
http://www.afp.com/english/news/stories/050905060806.gb5jo658.html
Maybe they are not like that, but the Bush Administration seems bent on creating the impression to the world, and its own countrymen, that they prefer killing, to saving people.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
OH. MY. GOSH.
I have just got to have this bimbo moment... so bear with me.
There's a new visa card television advertisement which features Richard Gere... I saw it just now and was like, so excited... RICHARD GERE!!!!!!
He looks even more charming now with his long mop of greyish-white hair, don't you agree?
Here's a good bit about the ad:
http://us.rediff.com/money/2005/jul/06spec1.htm
Unfortunately I cannot find any shots of the ad online so you'll just have to look out for it on tv; it really is a lovely ad.... a very nice story-line, cosy colors, and Richard (you think I can call him by his first name?) just simply melting my heart in the last bit where he looks away with an impish grin, trying his darnest to look innocent.
Haha.. I'm sorry.. it's just been a long time since I saw him on TV... and I've liked him since the very first time I watched Pretty Woman...
Oh man... he's so charming, distinguished-looking... a perfect gentleman...
He's like fine wine... gets better with age... white hair and all...
Yes, I do have a thing for more matured men... they're more intelligent and well-mannered.
I know... I just sounded like a complete bimbotic slut.
It's just one of those things you dun grow out of... no, not the 'bimbotic slut' bit... but the idolising of stars... certain stars like Richard Gere, Sean Connery (James Bond could fuck me any time!), and Fei Xiang... I've never stopped liking them since who-knows when...
*takes a deep breath*
Ok... I should be stopping the whole girlish bimbotic thing now...
This was one of the ranting and raving blog posts I warned you guys about in a recent post... I just figured, it's harmless so there's no need to password-protect it... some might start questioning my taste in men after this post, but that's about it.
Excuse me while I get back to my red wine...
There's a new visa card television advertisement which features Richard Gere... I saw it just now and was like, so excited... RICHARD GERE!!!!!!
He looks even more charming now with his long mop of greyish-white hair, don't you agree?
Here's a good bit about the ad:
http://us.rediff.com/money/2005/jul/06spec1.htm
Unfortunately I cannot find any shots of the ad online so you'll just have to look out for it on tv; it really is a lovely ad.... a very nice story-line, cosy colors, and Richard (you think I can call him by his first name?) just simply melting my heart in the last bit where he looks away with an impish grin, trying his darnest to look innocent.
Haha.. I'm sorry.. it's just been a long time since I saw him on TV... and I've liked him since the very first time I watched Pretty Woman...
Oh man... he's so charming, distinguished-looking... a perfect gentleman...
He's like fine wine... gets better with age... white hair and all...
Yes, I do have a thing for more matured men... they're more intelligent and well-mannered.
I know... I just sounded like a complete bimbotic slut.
It's just one of those things you dun grow out of... no, not the 'bimbotic slut' bit... but the idolising of stars... certain stars like Richard Gere, Sean Connery (James Bond could fuck me any time!), and Fei Xiang... I've never stopped liking them since who-knows when...
*takes a deep breath*
Ok... I should be stopping the whole girlish bimbotic thing now...
This was one of the ranting and raving blog posts I warned you guys about in a recent post... I just figured, it's harmless so there's no need to password-protect it... some might start questioning my taste in men after this post, but that's about it.
Excuse me while I get back to my red wine...
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Brought to its knees...
I knew my evil twin had hit Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama (I've always wanted to go to New Orleans), I knew she had claimed a large number of lives, smashed a zillion homes and well, made life a living hell for a whole lot of people.
But I never really understood how bad it was til I saw the pictures in the papers today, read the articles, and watched CNN.
As a human being, my heart goes out to all the people there now. Being the loser that I am, I couldn't stop the tears from coming to my eyes as I watched the clips on CNN. I saw sadness in the eyes of the Thai people after the tsunami; I saw complete 100% helplessness in the eyes of the American people - their faces were all blank... they could be breathing and sitting down somewhere fully clothed, but when you observe their facial expression... they were the living dead.
The anti-racist in me wondered why the only clips/pictures of white people on CNN were the news folks and some ladies George Bush hugged when he went on a walkabout. All other pictures, were of black people, desperate people.
Jesse Jackson said that 'racial injustice and indifference to black suffering was at the root of the disaster response' (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050903/ap_on_re_us/katrina_and_race_hk4).
Then of course the White House sends Condoleezza Rice up to deny all of that.
Racist? This wonderful country that is free America??? Bullshit!!
By the way, that is the term New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin used when he complained about the extremely slow response of the govt.. don't believe me, look at the ST. Apparrently he said that even after talking to everyone under the sun, all he got was bullshit.
I must admit, I giggled when I read that.
Sigh.
I dun want to sound silly or anything... but you really cannot blame me for thinking that George Bush is a bloody racist... not when every lost face that you see is is a black one. Perhaps it is really nothing racist, since majority of the population is black.. but still... oh I dun know...
The political scientist person in me has still not been able to fully absorb all the news... I cannot understand how an American city could end up look like some poor African country; I cannot understand why people are starving and dying of thrist because the govt is handicaped - they took ages to send troops down; I cannot understand how George Bush could have remained on holiday at his Texas ranch for TWO DAYS after Katrina hit his country, before getting his presidental butt back to work.
As much as I never really liked the way people referred to America as the 'Superpower', I have acknowledged that yes, they are the world leader etc.
Hence, it's hard to understand how they could have taken ages to send troops down to help their OWN people, a really long long time. And you then have George saying that there is no need to pull back resources from Iraq because "we've got plenty of resources to do both (hurricane and Iraq)" (http://www.todayonline.com/articles/70251.asp).... rriiigggghhhtttt...
It also feels weird to be reading/listening to news about how countries are pledging aid... I've always seen America as (I hate to say it) No. 1 in the world etc, and yet now they're taking in aid???
When asked if they were requesting for foreign aid when White House spokesman Scott McClellan said that the US is open to all offers of assistance from other nations, he sharply replied, "No."
It's interesting to see how countries are now all trying to outdo one another... So far Australia is in the lead, pledging US$10 million. And of course Singapore just had to send our Chinooks... hey, dun play-play hor.. the CNN keeps mentioning us leh!
Forgive me if it appears as though I've just been ranting on...
Just still kinda overwhelmed by it all...
You'll have to bear with me... coz I think this topic is going to appear very often in my blog posts.. for a while..
But I never really understood how bad it was til I saw the pictures in the papers today, read the articles, and watched CNN.
As a human being, my heart goes out to all the people there now. Being the loser that I am, I couldn't stop the tears from coming to my eyes as I watched the clips on CNN. I saw sadness in the eyes of the Thai people after the tsunami; I saw complete 100% helplessness in the eyes of the American people - their faces were all blank... they could be breathing and sitting down somewhere fully clothed, but when you observe their facial expression... they were the living dead.
The anti-racist in me wondered why the only clips/pictures of white people on CNN were the news folks and some ladies George Bush hugged when he went on a walkabout. All other pictures, were of black people, desperate people.
Jesse Jackson said that 'racial injustice and indifference to black suffering was at the root of the disaster response' (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050903/ap_on_re_us/katrina_and_race_hk4).
Then of course the White House sends Condoleezza Rice up to deny all of that.
Racist? This wonderful country that is free America??? Bullshit!!
By the way, that is the term New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin used when he complained about the extremely slow response of the govt.. don't believe me, look at the ST. Apparrently he said that even after talking to everyone under the sun, all he got was bullshit.
I must admit, I giggled when I read that.
Sigh.
I dun want to sound silly or anything... but you really cannot blame me for thinking that George Bush is a bloody racist... not when every lost face that you see is is a black one. Perhaps it is really nothing racist, since majority of the population is black.. but still... oh I dun know...
The political scientist person in me has still not been able to fully absorb all the news... I cannot understand how an American city could end up look like some poor African country; I cannot understand why people are starving and dying of thrist because the govt is handicaped - they took ages to send troops down; I cannot understand how George Bush could have remained on holiday at his Texas ranch for TWO DAYS after Katrina hit his country, before getting his presidental butt back to work.
As much as I never really liked the way people referred to America as the 'Superpower', I have acknowledged that yes, they are the world leader etc.
Hence, it's hard to understand how they could have taken ages to send troops down to help their OWN people, a really long long time. And you then have George saying that there is no need to pull back resources from Iraq because "we've got plenty of resources to do both (hurricane and Iraq)" (http://www.todayonline.com/articles/70251.asp).... rriiigggghhhtttt...
It also feels weird to be reading/listening to news about how countries are pledging aid... I've always seen America as (I hate to say it) No. 1 in the world etc, and yet now they're taking in aid???
When asked if they were requesting for foreign aid when White House spokesman Scott McClellan said that the US is open to all offers of assistance from other nations, he sharply replied, "No."
It's interesting to see how countries are now all trying to outdo one another... So far Australia is in the lead, pledging US$10 million. And of course Singapore just had to send our Chinooks... hey, dun play-play hor.. the CNN keeps mentioning us leh!
Forgive me if it appears as though I've just been ranting on...
Just still kinda overwhelmed by it all...
You'll have to bear with me... coz I think this topic is going to appear very often in my blog posts.. for a while..
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Changes..
Yup, there are going to be some changes to this blog.
I was reminded by someone close to me not too long ago that as much as I'll like to be idealistic (or silly) and think that I can create my own private little space in the vast world that is the Internet, I cannot.
I wanted a space that could function as a sanctuary... where I can talk about whatever I feel like talking about. If I'm feeling brainy and stuff, then I'll post up a thoughtful piece about some politican, policy, social issue, etc. If I'm pms-ing, then I'll shout at whatever/whoever I wanna shout at. If I feel bimbotic, then I'll be bimbotic... and so on.
But there is no privacy in the Internet; you cannot have your own space, because the Internet belongs to everyone.
And as much as I cannot be bothered about what strangers think about me, I have to take into consideration the friends who do visit my blog. For example, I am very sure Nis and Him read my blog every now and then and they are people dear to me. If one day I'm in an ultra-bad mood, or just simply in a reflective mood and I decide to talk about suicide, they are going to be worried shit about me, wondering, "is she gonna 'play the violin' (an old friend used to refer to me slashing my wrist by that term, but that's another story altogether)?"
So I do have a responsibility towards my friends.
But...
Being the stubborn woman I can be at times, I still want my little space... because writing/ranting helps me get whatever frustrations I have out of my system, and after I've gotten all the shit out, then I can start calming down and thinking rationally. I need that little space.
So in the future, if you see some password-protected posts, you'll know that's probably one of my more violent posts... a post that's meant for me, myself, and I.
Okay?
I was reminded by someone close to me not too long ago that as much as I'll like to be idealistic (or silly) and think that I can create my own private little space in the vast world that is the Internet, I cannot.
I wanted a space that could function as a sanctuary... where I can talk about whatever I feel like talking about. If I'm feeling brainy and stuff, then I'll post up a thoughtful piece about some politican, policy, social issue, etc. If I'm pms-ing, then I'll shout at whatever/whoever I wanna shout at. If I feel bimbotic, then I'll be bimbotic... and so on.
But there is no privacy in the Internet; you cannot have your own space, because the Internet belongs to everyone.
And as much as I cannot be bothered about what strangers think about me, I have to take into consideration the friends who do visit my blog. For example, I am very sure Nis and Him read my blog every now and then and they are people dear to me. If one day I'm in an ultra-bad mood, or just simply in a reflective mood and I decide to talk about suicide, they are going to be worried shit about me, wondering, "is she gonna 'play the violin' (an old friend used to refer to me slashing my wrist by that term, but that's another story altogether)?"
So I do have a responsibility towards my friends.
But...
Being the stubborn woman I can be at times, I still want my little space... because writing/ranting helps me get whatever frustrations I have out of my system, and after I've gotten all the shit out, then I can start calming down and thinking rationally. I need that little space.
So in the future, if you see some password-protected posts, you'll know that's probably one of my more violent posts... a post that's meant for me, myself, and I.
Okay?
